The Cartography of Northern Virginia

[deangold]

We Virginian's hate for you to know where you're going.

Vote for Virginia's new state motto:

Welcome to Virginia, If you have to ask where you are, fuck you!

Virginia, we make Boston look easy to drive in!

Virginia is for lovers, if you can fuck for longer than you will be stuck in traffic on 66 at rush hour, we're impressed as long {as no sodomy is involved.}

Virginia. No pro football, no pro baseball, no pro hockey, no pro basketball, no street signs that make sense.

VIrginia, if you're lost, you are going the right way. If you are in Northern Virginia, chances are good the the food IS good at that hole in the wall.

[RWBooneJr]

I neglected to mention that N. Westmoreland St. isn't connected to Westmoreland Street or that the Westmoreland exit on I-66E isn't even the correct exit, Lee Highway is (though there are three Lee Highway exits, miles apart, so choose wisely). There isn't an exit on I-66W for that part of Lee Highway or Westmoreland, so you'll have to use Sycamore. However, no one should come from DC to eat in Falls Church (and this place is basically in Falls Church, though not really), except, maybe, at the Eden Center (which is, in fact, in Falls Church, though -- despite having a Falls Church mailing address -- the rest of Seven Corners isn't). But I digress.

[DaveO]

Vote for Virginia's new state motto:

Welcome to Virginia, If you have to ask where you are, fuck you!

Virginia, we make Boston look easy to drive in!

Virginia is for lovers, if you can fuck for longer than you will be stuck in traffic on 66 at rush hour, we're impressed as long {as no sodomy is involved.}

Virginia. No pro football, no pro baseball, no pro hockey, no pro basketball, no street signs that make sense.

VIrginia, if you're lost, you are going the right way. If you are in Northern Virginia, chances are good the the food IS good at that hole in the wall.

Methinks we have a potential candidate for governor of Virginia lurking on this board.

[Pat]

I neglected to mention that N. Westmoreland St. isn't connected to Westmoreland Street or that the Westmoreland exit on I-66E isn't even the correct exit, Lee Highway is (though there are three Lee Highway exits, miles apart, so choose wisely). There isn't an exit on I-66W for that part of Lee Highway or Westmoreland, so you'll have to use Sycamore. However, no one should come from DC to eat in Falls Church (and this place is basically in Falls Church, though not really), except, maybe, at the Eden Center (which is, in fact, in Falls Church, though -- despite having a Falls Church mailing address -- the rest of Seven Corners isn't). But I digress.

I thought Pizzeria Orso was in Falls Church. I'm bad with Virginia geography, but I recall that it's down the street from Penzey's. I think. (I didn't intend to quote the whole post, but I'm having the software quoting problem again, and I'm too tired to keep trying over and over to get it right.)

[RWBooneJr]

I thought Pizzeria Orso was in Falls Church. I'm bad with Virginia geography, but I recall that it's down the street from Penzey's. I think. (I didn't intend to quote the whole post, but I'm having the software quoting problem again, and I'm too tired to keep trying over and over to get it right.)

My bad. Forgot about Orso, which is in Falls Church, near the Falls Church (there actually is one), and excellent.

[DonRocks]

I neglected to mention that N. Westmoreland St. isn't connected to Westmoreland Street or that the Westmoreland exit on I-66E isn't even the correct exit, Lee Highway is (though there are three Lee Highway exits, miles apart, so choose wisely). There isn't an exit on I-66W for that part of Lee Highway or Westmoreland, so you'll have to use Sycamore. However, no one should come from DC to eat in Falls Church (and this place is basically in Falls Church, though not really), except, maybe, at the Eden Center (which is, in fact, in Falls Church, though -- despite having a Falls Church mailing address -- the rest of Seven Corners isn't). But I digress.

Couldn't you have just said it's right next to Chasin' Tails?

P.S. The East Falls Church Metro station is in Arlington County; the West Falls Church Metro station is in Fairfax County; neither are in the city of Falls Church. Actually, the West Falls Church Metro station is in Falls Church, but not in the city of Falls Church; the East Falls Church Metro station is not in Falls Church.

Picture a set of male genitalia. The penis is comprised of the head (Arlington County, which is also (unincorporated) Arlington City, thus both can be simplified as "Arlington") and the shaft ((incorporated) City of Falls Church); the scrotum (Fairfax County) contains the testicles (the (unincorporated) part of Falls Church that is inside of Fairfax County (scrotum), but is distinct from the City of Falls Church (shaft)). So "Falls Church" consists of both the shaft (incorporated city) and the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the latter of which is by definition inside the scrotum (Fairfax County), and the head being off by itself somewhere (Arlington). This analogy is not to scale, and falls short if you take into account contiguous regions because to be geographically accurate, the head (Arlington) would necessarily need to physically touch the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the shaft (City of Falls Church), *and* the scrotum (Fairfax County). Alexandria (both (unincorporated) Alexandria in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Alexandria, both of which are contiguous to Arlington), and Fairfax (both (unincorporated) Fairfax in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Fairfax, neither of which are contiguous to Arlington), remain outside the scope of this discussion. However, you can picture two small herpetic lesions, one on the head; the other inside and affixed to a testicle, and you have both Metro stations mentioned above.

Aiiiight.

[DrXmus]

Picture a set of male genitalia. The penis is comprised of the head (Arlington County, which is also (unincorporated) Arlington City, thus both can be simplified as "Arlington") and the shaft ((incorporated) City of Falls Church); the scrotum (Fairfax County) contains the testicles (the (unincorporated) part of Falls Church that is inside of Fairfax County (scrotum), but is distinct from the City of Falls Church (shaft)). So "Falls Church" consists of both the shaft (incorporated city) and the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the latter of which is by definition inside the scrotum (Fairfax County), and the head being off by itself somewhere (Arlington). This analogy is not to scale, and falls short if you take into account contiguous regions because to be geographically accurate, the head (Arlington) would necessarily need to physically touch the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the shaft (City of Falls Church), *and* the scrotum (Fairfax County). Alexandria (both (unincorporated) Alexandria in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Alexandria, both of which are contiguous to Arlington), and Fairfax (both (unincorporated) Fairfax in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Fairfax, neither of which are contiguous to Arlington), remain outside the scope of this discussion. However, you can picture two small herpetic lesions, one on the head; the other inside and affixed to a testicle, and you have both Metro stations mentioned above.

Generally, I don't have pictures of male junk in my mind, so thanks for that, Don. For those of us in the Chosen Tribe, are we missing Rosslyn?

[DonRocks]

Generally, I don't have pictures of male junk in my mind, so thanks for that, Don. For those of us in the Chosen Tribe, are we missing Rosslyn?

Heading in the general direction of east-to-west, Rosslyn, Courthouse, Clarendon, Virginia Square, Ballston, and East Falls Church are all neighborhoods (and Metro stops) in the smallest county in the United States: Arlington.

[Kibbee Nayee]

Picture a set of male genitalia. The penis is comprised of the head (Arlington County, which is also (unincorporated) Arlington City, thus both can be simplified as "Arlington") and the shaft ((incorporated) City of Falls Church); the scrotum (Fairfax County) contains the testicles (the (unincorporated) part of Falls Church that is inside of Fairfax County (scrotum), but is distinct from the City of Falls Church (shaft)). So "Falls Church" consists of both the shaft (incorporated city) and the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the latter of which is by definition inside the scrotum (Fairfax County), and the head being off by itself somewhere (Arlington). This analogy is not to scale, and falls short if you take into account contiguous regions because to be geographically accurate, the head (Arlington) would necessarily need to physically touch the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the shaft (City of Falls Church), *and* the scrotum (Fairfax County). Alexandria (both (unincorporated) Alexandria in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Alexandria, both of which are contiguous to Arlington), and Fairfax (both (unincorporated) Fairfax in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Fairfax, neither of which are contiguous to Arlington), remain outside the scope of this discussion. However, you can picture two small herpetic lesions, one on the head; the other inside and affixed to a testicle, and you have both Metro stations mentioned above.

I can only begin to imagine the carnage that must lurk within the cells of the mind that created this....

For those of us in the boonies....if you follow Rolling Road toward Route 1 in Springfield, you come to an intersection with traffic lights in all directions. To the left is Alban, which becomes Backlick at some ill-defined point on its meandering way toward Annandale. On the right is Pohick, which leads almost nowhere and ends at the Fairfax County Parkway. And straight ahead is, uh, Pohick, which takes you to Route 1....

[thistle]

I love living in NoVA, & don't even want to think about (depending on orientation) what testicle I'm perched on, I am thankful for GPS...had to drive across town last night for a theater sports competition, w/ a car full of girls. I have a great respect for the folks who handle a lengthy commute everyday, & don't turn homicidal....

[DaveO]

Somehow this description made me think of the earthquake of 2011 when Northern Va was in the HAND of something bigger than all of us. In Rosslyn at the point of the head people exploded out of their high rise buildings and swam around in relief that once again all was well.

I'm hungry and could use a smoke

[The Hersch]

I neglected to mention that N. Westmoreland St. isn't connected to Westmoreland Street or that the Westmoreland exit on I-66E isn't even the correct exit, Lee Highway is (though there are three Lee Highway exits, miles apart, so choose wisely).

Although not all of US-29 is known as Lee Highway, much of it is, and I-66 can't get enough of it-- they intersect six times. Although, like all odd-numbered US and Interstate routes, US-29 is mostly a north-south thoroughfare, through much of Northern Virginia it runs more east-west. From the west, then, I-66 has junctions with US-29 at Gainesville (I-66 exit 43), Centerville (exit 52), Falls Church (exit 69), Arlington/Lee Highway/Spout Run Parkway (exit 72 ), Rosslyn/Key Bridge (exit 73), and Washington, DC/Whitehurst Freeway (DC (unnumbered?) exit).

[MsDiPesto]

Always amusing to be new in the area and try to do something like follow, oh, say, 10th St in Arlington, only to discover that it ends at the canyon of Rt 66 and is picked up again somewhere on the other side.

Here be dragons.

[lperry]

Although not all of US-29 is known as Lee Highway, much of it is ...

And please don't confuse Lee Highway with Lee Jackson Highway, or you will completely miss the Super H. Then there are the Glebes, two of which are responsible for about 50% of our guests being late.

[saf]

Then there are the Glebes, two of which are responsible for about 50% of our guests being late.

Whenever I go to Virginia, no matter WHAT I do, I seem to end up on Glebe Road.

Then I become confused, and despondent.

[lperry]

Whenever I go to Virginia, no matter WHAT I do, I seem to end up on Glebe Road.

Then I become confused, and despondent.

It's our Yankee filter. Best turn around and head back north.

[SeanMike]

Couldn't you have just said it's right next to Chasin' Tails?

P.S. The East Falls Church Metro station is in Arlington County; the West Falls Church Metro station is in Fairfax County; neither are in the city of Falls Church. Actually, the West Falls Church Metro station is in Falls Church, but not in the city of Falls Church; the East Falls Church Metro station is not in Falls Church.

Picture a set of male genitalia. The penis is comprised of the head (Arlington County, which is also (unincorporated) Arlington City, thus both can be simplified as "Arlington") and the shaft ((incorporated) City of Falls Church); the scrotum (Fairfax County) contains the testicles (the (unincorporated) part of Falls Church that is inside of Fairfax County (scrotum), but is distinct from the City of Falls Church (shaft)). So "Falls Church" consists of both the shaft (incorporated city) and the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the latter of which is by definition inside the scrotum (Fairfax County), and the head being off by itself somewhere (Arlington). This analogy is not to scale, and falls short if you take into account contiguous regions because to be geographically accurate, the head (Arlington) would necessarily need to physically touch the testicles (Falls Church, Fairfax County), the shaft (City of Falls Church), *and* the scrotum (Fairfax County). Alexandria (both (unincorporated) Alexandria in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Alexandria, both of which are contiguous to Arlington), and Fairfax (both (unincorporated) Fairfax in Fairfax County, and the (incorporated) City of Fairfax, neither of which are contiguous to Arlington), remain outside the scope of this discussion. However, you can picture two small herpetic lesions, one on the head; the other inside and affixed to a testicle, and you have both Metro stations mentioned above.

Aiiiight.

And I wrote one of my major papers for Professor Sabato about land claims and what makes a town/county/city in Virginia for my GFAP 535 class back at UVA. (Okay, at the time, it was GFAG, but they realized they had to change the last initial...)

To me, it's completely enthralling, and to be honest, it's way weird compared to most states.

(Personally, I find Virginia easier to navigate than Maryland or DC, but I live here. And also I know that makes a huge difference.)

[lperry]

(Personally, I find Virginia easier to navigate than Maryland or DC, but I live here. And also I know that makes a huge difference.)

I avoid driving in DC at all costs. It's a tangle of unsynchronized lights and guys with barricades.