Poivrot Farci

Based on a few disturbing weeks moonlighting at a reputable wholesale meat purveyor/processor in Maryland, virtually anything and everything beyond the loin is deemed an off cut. When the weekly half dozen Virginia carcasses arrived for a titan area restaurant group (a group that fraudulently touts “grass-fed” beef hamburgers -though the animals were clearly grain finished, and confirmed by the plant owner) the rib-eye, short-loin, short-ribs, sometimes the brisket were saved while only the flatiron and teres major passed muster from the front quarter. The remainder of the front was mercilessly ground up for saintly hamburgers. Everything in the round (leg) was diced for bullshit “stew meat” with nary a thought given to the tri-tip, culotte, top sirloin, round primals or delectable secondary butcher’s cuts. No better than making sawdust and toothpicks from trees. Such a noble creature that sadly demands so many resources while causing considerable environmental consequences has been reduced to a cheap, disposable commodity. Highly processed fast food notwithstanding, ours is not a food culture that embraces efficiency (emasculating) or resourcefulness (subversive). And rarely quality (elitist). 1500lbs is exceptional as very few steers are raised long enough to reach that weight, either due to the prohibitive cost of caring for the creature or fears of BSE. 1200lbs is the average for grain finished, of which 30%-40% is lost after slaughter (skin, blood, giblets, organs…) depending on quality of the steer, fat and breed. From that, another 20% is lost from fat, bones, sinew and whatnot. Even from a 1500lb cow, only 800lbs at best is salvageable.

Hardly. Labored 2 dimensional descriptions and he is spoiled because everyone recognizes him. He reviews like an employee at Best Buy in a Renn Fair outfit with a wooden palate that uses Mad-libs and a thesaurus to describe to you what is written below the stereo. To wit (from the latest review), “The fat hats of pasta, are joined by tender medallions of the same lamb, a shower of crushed black walnuts, shaved black truffles and kerchiefs of prosciutto.” Great. But what does it taste like? Are they legitimate black truffles or the crappy Chinese imposters. If they are the real deal, everyone at the bar would smell it. Or, “soft orbs shaped from pork, beef and veal and topped with a trembling organic egg and a dusting of pecorino." Shit man, tell me how either one is cooked at least. You’d think everything he ate was raw.

Roasts from Virginia Angus and 8 month old Virginia Randall Lineback, the former being smaller and leaner (4 months milk fed, 4 months pastured) are barded in fatback, suet or ventrèche (French pancetta) They range from 8oz to 4lbs for Randall Lineback and up to 6lbs for the Angus. All are entirely denuded; no sinew, nerves or veins. Clod heart (triceps brachii; from what would be the tricep) Top sirloin/rump roast (Gluteus medius; Gluteus accessorius (beef); from what would be the hip) Top round (Semimembranosus, Adductor; from what would be the back of the thigh) Knuckle (Vastus lateralis, Rectus femoris; from what would be the quadriceps) Beef Heel (Gastrocnemisus; small roasts from what would be the calf muscle)

$10/lb for whole LaBelle (NY) Alina (A French breed of white Pekin) air-chilled ducks with the neck. $9/lb for the legs, $15/lb for the breasts. Large amounts of either would best be preceded by a phone call to ensure we have enough on hand or allow us the time to order (we can order virtually anything so long as it is available, of a quality that we endorse and of reasonable minimum quantity). Conventional courtesy (hello, please, thank you) doesn’t hurt either. The newly updated website has a link to the butchery repertoire, most of which is available over a 2 week period. We butcher sides of beef and whole Randall Lineback veal, 100% Berkshire pork, Shenandoah lamb and cuts are based on what the carcass has to offer, though premium cuts are put in the case in a equitable manner, based on what has aged sufficiently. All the beef (Roseda, Pine Ridge; VA) and Randall Lineback (Berryville, VA) is aged 4-6 weeks and along with the pork (High View Farm, Berryville, VA) and poultry (Confucius style Bobo chickens –head & feet on until Polyface starts producing again) is cut/trussed to order; roasts sized to accommodate servings. In addition to the list and a variety of Olli cured meats, we currently have: Diot: fresh sausage; red wine, pork and nutmeg. Merguez: fresh; Shenandoah lamb, harissa. Boudin Rouge: cooked; red lentil pork boudin. Portuguese blood pudding (we don’t make our own yet, but will) Chicken and gizzard terrine in aspic. Suet. Chicken liver mousse with blood orange and lucknow fennel seed. Pork pâté campagne with dried apples, vadouvan and apple brandy. Pork and veal pâté with figs and pistachios. Pork and duck pâté with currants and green peppercorns. Barded roasts Duck and Sour Cherry Pâté en Croûte Pork and veal pâté with figs and pistachios

(insert applause). The overwhelming majority of legitimate(ly) starred chefs of the world have earned their bona fides by quietly maintaining irreproachable standards of class within singular restaurants longer than the dollar-starved Isabelsohns & such have been cooking/interning. The measure of success (muddied with worth and talent) here appears to be gauged in sensationalized gallons of gremlin-multiplying franchises on any coast, hundreds of miles in between and silly superstar reverence for a vocation previously delegated to our grandmothers’ generation when they were housewives without now mandated home-economics inspired tattoos. Any cook who deems the trade worthy of a dedicated career could learn a humble pie recipe from Michel Bras whose humility should probably be imitated along with his smear/swipe/spoon-drag plating that virtually everyone has used at some point during what they value as their culinary ascent. There are those budding stalwarts who genuinely pursue the craft of cooking and others, eternal contestants, who crave a celebrity inflated title while their name is diluted by anyone whose tastes need to be validated by the great unwashed or internet glitz. Elsewhere, where there is less of a disconnect between savvy consumers and venerated ingredients, and a fierce tradition of pride in quality rather than abundance, the disciplined chefs’ concentration is focused under one awning for the better part of a decade, at least, which better reflects excellence. Of course vying for perfection is not everyone’s mission and some rightfully prize tangible $$ more than skilled integrity or are finally cashing in on it, deservedly, after 20+ years in the business. First and foremost I am bitterly jealous of the thread namesakes' Styrofoam fame and that they will have 8 storefronts between the 2 of them by 2013 while I’ll have none.

The intrawebs says December 15 or 31, 1980, hatless, in Montreal which would make him 43 in insecure Chef years. While double stuffing his marshmallowy resumé with a coveted tenure at Bouchon (years according to the errant press release) and soaking up countless ounces of food knowledge from the illustrious Les Crayères externship, Spike keeps it hopelessly ordinary by sticking his Michelin-tread wheels to the thruway well traveled and pursues temperamental children’s birthday party food while maintaining high standards of hamburgers and pizza set by the esteemed 3 star restaurant, though French consumer fraud laws would likely challenge the authenticity of his “farm fresh ingredients” cancan dance. He should totally cash in on the edgy Arab Spring trend and consider the street-food possibilities of a kushari bandwagon concept.

Stretching months of “externships” into “earning nearly 25 years of knowledge in the fine art of cooking ”, Game-show credentials grease the tracks.

There are 3 varieties of commercial cooked French foie-gras (pasteurized) and each has a shelf-life directly relating to its highest temperature of processing, albeit for a handful of seconds. Foie gras frais “Fresh foie gras“ (not to be confused with raw foie gras). Cooked to 154F and generally used in pâtés, ballotines, en croûte, en brioche and such. Above refrigeration 41F it deteriorates considerably by the hour. Foie gras mi-cuit ou semi-conserve. “Par-cooked foie gras“. Canned or cooked sous-vide to a temperature of 181F. The flavor is not compromised as much from the high heat. It will maintain its gustatory properties up to 6 months if kept refrigerated and away from direct light. The glass wire-bail mason jars will last if the foie doesn't. Foie gras en conserve. “Canned foie gras“. Canned or jarred in an autoclave to a scorching 223F. Shelf life is increased tremendously at the initial expense of flavor. However, much like top vintage sardines, the flavor and texture only improves after a year in storage when care is taken to rotate the can every 3 months or so. Many French artisans forego the color preserving properties of nitrites and produce a product verging the cusp of the lightest grey cloud, speckled with ground pepper. The cans pictured above are more stocking stuffers than real McCoy’s and any savory shortcomings with age are negligible. They are likely canned in the same spirit of army rations and will last a decade or even longer and should be enjoyed casually or in desperation.

Inlayed Berksire pork pâté. Lay Down Salomey. Berkshire pork with confit heart, tongue, fatback and quince. Farce fine Inlay of cubic zaffronia and paprika petals wrapped in sliced fatback.

White House Meats will be holding another in a series of “meat-ups” Monday, December 12th, 7pm, at A M Wine Shoppe in Adams Morgan, a continuing effort to make the virtues of local 100% grass-fed beef accessible to consumers. We had two 900lb Angus steers slaughtered in November at Fauquier's Finest in Virginia which will hang until Dec 12 (dry-aged 4 weeks) after which 1 steer with be butchered into portions for the meat-up and the other will be available to individuals or restaurants in quarters, primals or sub-primals on the bone or boneless -depending on the cut- to gauge demand for further purchases of cows. The 2 year old pastured Angus steers are certified organic from Mt. Airy farms in Virginia and are fed grass their whole lives. No grain whatsoever, which cows are not designed to eat. We have visited the farm and the processing plant to make sure it is up to snuff and that the pastured cows are humanely slaughtered, not rushed as on an industrial scale. We will be at Fauquier’s on Monday to supervise the cutting. The meat-up is conducted like a draft pick and fresh vacuum-sealed portions (8-10oz steaks, 3-5lb roasts) are selected in a rotation to ensure an equitable distribution. The only frozen items are the organs which can not be aged. A 10 person draft generally ensures 20-25lbs of beef per person (a variety of premium cuts, roasts, stewing/braising, ground, offal or whichever cuts one chooses at their turn) which is priced at a flat $9.80/lb rate, a very fair price of 4 week dry-aged 100% grass-fed beef. There are some shares left. As for the second steer, we can offer whole primals or sub-primals (ie: whole clod, whole bone-in rib-eye chine bone removed, bone-in strip-loin, eye of round, top sirloin, flatiron, etc…) for a price that is lower per lb since we are not charged the cutting fee. Quarters are even less. Such large cuts will be wrapped in butcher’s paper. The short-rib plates ,1 strip loin, 1 ribeye and pot-au-feu kit (cheeks, tongue, 1 shank, ox-tail, collar bones and some marrow bones) have already been spoken for. We will eventually be able to offer French butcher’s cuts: spider (gracilis), pear (pectineus), whiting (satorius), tournedos, suet barded roasts and denuded outside clod for tar-tar. We can also provide organic Berkshire pigs from High View Farm in Berryville, VA for $5/lb with sizes ranging from 100-225lbs. We have met with the farmer a few times and he will be trying to raise a smaller breed of pig in the spring and should have 100% grass-fed Scottish Highland steers ready by then. He provides us with pastured chickens and their eggs along with gizzards, livers and feet. For pricing and such, contact Seth Cooper (Seth@whitehousemeats.com). We are happy to answer any questions and can demonstrate the breakdown of the quarters. Some beef resources: Bovine Myology Beef tenderness my muscle New look at the top round White House Meats WashPo article Shoulder cuts Whole quarter or: Chuck tender Mock tender Petite tender (teres major) Flatiron Arm steaks Center of clod roasts Shank Underblade Chuck roasts Loin & plate cuts Ribeye Strip Loin Sirloin butt/top sirloin with culotte Short ribs Tenderloin Brisket Flank Skirt Hanger steak Tri-tip Leg cuts Whole leg or Top round Knuckle Eye of round Heel Outside round Other Cut shanks Liver Sweetbreads Oxtail Tongue Heart Cheeks Suet Ground beef Stew/kabob

Pork and Quince Pâté en Croûte. High View farm’s Berkshire pork*, its confit heart, tongue, cured loin, fatback and some quince cooked in syrup with cloves. Pastry made from the rendered leaf lard. Evince the quince. Eden’s meatloaf. Convincing quincing. Conglomermeat . * A M Wine Shoppe meat-up

Heritage turkey. Marla. Maple basted breasts. Ballotine. Fresh & dried cranberries, button mushrooms, pistachios and a few chestnuts. Cauliflower à la Polonaise. Romanesco, yellow & purple cauliflower. Cinnamon queen hen eggs, béchamel, toasted bread crumbs and rosemary schmaltz. Confit gizzards in saupiquet. Juniper scented turkey stock thickened by the liver. Pan coudoun. Candied quince baked in whole wheat bread. Pumpkin and ricotta frangipane tart. Honey & ricotta ice cream. –courtesy of a pastry savvy friend.

TG 2011 for 14 orphans “New Frangland” Roasted nuts and Mt. Pleasant pickles (sour Mexican gherkins, yellow wax beans). Mulled cider to be pumped. Boston mackerel. Pickled in my red wine vinegar. Ruff & Ready salvaged cocktail forks. Smooth, leggy & blonde. Smoked turkey leg rillettes. Cooked in leaf lard. Absolutely delicious. Gloucester navy bean chowder. Beans puréed with shellfish cooking liquid. A garnish of leek, bacon, shrimp, mussels, clams and salted cod. Goldfish –acorn squash cornbread. Sea salt carousel: Persian blue, espelette, lavender, smoked, Guérande grey, Île de Ré.

TG 2011

Thanksgiving at the White House. They had me at cheddar cheese ring. Listen as no gift of phonetic story-writing can substitute Roland Mesnier’s archetypal French chef’s accent.

For a very recent mother & dear neighbor: Roasted chicken; stuffed with lemon, savory, garlic, dried chili and thyme. Cauliflower à la Polonaise. Romanesco, yellow cauliflower, béchamel from the stalks and barely boiled farmer’s eggs. Drizzled with rosemary scented schmaltz and some toasted bread crumbs.

The litany of misdirected gripes from pampered palates have little substance and there is not a single example in this thread of any food items that are insipid, poorly executed or which question Mr. Andrés’s capabilities as a chef. Or should Danny Meyer be held directly accountable for any of the marginal meals in his empire and yesterday's athletes/entertainers stripped of their stardom as they retire? Anyone who expects to be knocked out by a bowl of mashed avocado needs to recalibrate their high-definition expectations to an era before basic cable and boutique 7 layer bacon dips. Mr. Andrés is not responsible for the “ass of some tourist douche from Iowa*” being in his busy establishment, nor the shabby upholstery which is fashionable elsewhere at that price range, and it certainly does not reflect his merits as a chef or owner. Complain to the manager. While it is easy to goof on Mr. Andrés for sport, 5 restaurants in Penn Quarter that are generally full do more to benefit its employees, the neighborhood and the recognition of DC’s culinary scene (which ultimately raises the city’s second tier profile and brings in $$$) than if the restaurants were soulless franchises or retail spaces with a 10-month shelf life. Consider thanking or congratulating him instead, if not for revitalizing the area and producing chefs, then at least for his charitable deeds and enjoyable television show. His restaurant group has tremendous purchasing power and is likely better able to compensate its employees and offer approachable prices than the cute fantasy of an independent, spacious, affordable, gourmet downtown eatery where diners are coddled, buffered from the asses of malignant visitors and the chef personally oversees every sprig of farmer’s baby greens at lunch and dinner 7 days a week while paying all the bills in a deflated economy with inflated food costs. Of the thousands of harmless meals that the restaurant group puts out a week, it is entirely possible that an overwhelming majority of the target diners have just a cursory interest in food and are satisfied to go there for the pleasure or glamour of eating out in a bustling downtown restaurant. Penn Quarter is a port of call for cruise ships, not dainty, butler-serviced schooners and while I chose to eat elsewhere, the José Andrés cornerstones are largely better than the all-consuming liabilities of a steakhouse and hamburger-store landscape. *For better or worse, Iowa contributes considerably to the nation’s agriculture, so the state’s residents who may be bettering themselves by visiting the nation’s capital or selling La Quercia do not necessarily need to be defamed with José Andrés. Enlightened, tolerant bar guests could give "the ass of some tourist douche" a sportsman’s pat in return for the eggs, pork, corn and grain that probably helped to feed and fuel half the items on the menu.

The Lost Art of Buying From a Butcher. The product of degenerative convenience and our diseased food system which demands profits while promoting abusive excess at the expense of quality and fundamental nutrition. DC could benefit from a proper butcher shop.

Johnny Walker Pumpkin Mulled Reid Orchard cider spiked with Johnny Walker from the tap. Pumpkins have good heat retention properties.

Language Bar Tutorial: Mac PC Windows 12 year Diaeresis and Circumflex on tap. Diphthongs drink for free.

When borrowing and using foreign words, there is no reason to neuter diacritics unless you are a clumsy editor at the Washington Post or the variety of person who foregoes the seemingly mandatory and pretentious use of chopsticks with Eastern grub, which often demands more dexterity than check-marking the “United States-International” setting on the language bar at the bottom right of any personal computer and literally pressing 1 or 2 punctuation keys with a single finger on a keyboard that is far larger than that of any umbilical cell phone.

Domino's pizza has already spoiled the reverence. Particularly the "Artisan -Spinach & Feta":

Artisan is a noun, i.e. a stupid craftsman Artisanal is an adjective, i.e. made by or having the qualities of a stupid craftsman

Dry-aged sirloin with carrots and button mushrooms Sirloin from minimum 5 year-old pastured Limousin cattle that have eaten nothing but grass their whole lives, just as nature dictates. Dry-aged for at least 4 musk inducing weeks. Sirloin left to temper for an hour then pan roasted in olive oil. Button mushrooms, carrots and onions glazed in the fat. Finished with tomato concassée, the zest of a lemon and its segments. Nothing short of savory. If I can find or make it, perhaps.

Aiguillette de veau de lait medaillé. Saisi, avec des girolles et les pommes de terre de hier soir. Tri-tip from Hugo Desnoyer’s agricultural medal-winning, 4 month-old mother’s milk-fed veal. Roasted, with chanterelles and last night’s potatoes. Exceptional tenderness, real-deal-veal flavor and pure as the driven snow. The butchers say a calf’s quality is judged by the whiteness of its eyes. Medal of excellence, milk fed Limousin veal. Corrèze fall fair October 10th 2011.