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Ray's The Steaks Is Closing!


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As many of you who follow eGullet already know, Ray's The Steaks is in IMMINENT DANGER of closing!!!

I have it from the highest authority that the suicidal mismanagement and criminal lack of respect for the guest that have been the hallmarks of Ray's The Steaks from the day we opened are catching up with us and we are to soon meet the FATE THAT WE DESERVE!!!

I mention this here so that people have one last chance to dine at Ray's.  I don't have a final date for our closing yet.  We are fully booked for the next three weeks, so you may not be able to get in right away, but we may close ANY TIME after that. 

I would like to hold out hope that we are not closing, but the source on our CERTAIN SUICIDAL DEMISE is inarguably infallible.

So hurry before the doors close forever.

It's a little early to be knocking them back, isn't it? :P

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As many of you who follow eGullet already know, Ray's The Steaks is in IMMINENT DANGER of closing!!!

I have it from the highest authority that the suicidal mismanagement and criminal lack of respect for the guest that have been the hallmarks of Ray's The Steaks from the day we opened are catching up with us and we are to soon meet the FATE THAT WE DESERVE!!!

I mention this here so that people have one last chance to dine at Ray's.  I don't have a final date for our closing yet.  We are fully booked for the next three weeks, so you may not be able to get in right away, but we may close ANY TIME after that. 

I would like to hold out hope that we are not closing, but the source on our CERTAIN SUICIDAL DEMISE is inarguably infallible.

So hurry before the doors close forever.

Say it ain't so, Joe! :P

p.s. I'm still holding my breath.

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I heard that the real reason Ray's might close is because it has become a security threat. After the bombings in London, the Department of Homeland Security hastily put together a "short list" of likely targets for an al Quaida mini terrorist attack. Because Ray's presents such a cluster of innocent civilians in one place at one time, Ray's has made to near the top of that short list. Hence, DHS has heightend the security in the vicinity of Ray's the Steaks. With all the added security personnel, parking has gotten worse and the guys with dark suits and bugs in their ears have been getting between the cooks and grill making the 90-minute time limit for diners next to impossible to meet. The bright side is that there is an upside profit potential because the security personnel insist on "government rates" for meals; it turns out Michael can raise his prices. Thus, he may be able to stay open for a little bit longer.

Edited by Jacques Gastreaux
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I knew things were getting bad when I heard they'd put Slipp out to work as a rent boy to cover Landrum's coke debts. Oh, and the reason the new branch in Silver Spring hasn't opened yet is because right now it's still being used to store all the kidnapped Midwestern virgins and Russian backpack nukes. (This is the scurrilous rumor section of the Web site, right?)

Edited by Stretch
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Is this the same reliable source that told people int he neighborhood that we were going to be a "family style restaurant like Bucca di Beppo?" :P

I haven't been in to your place yet, Dean, but if I see one of those pope's head lazy susans when I get there, I'm leaving and rushing right to Ray's the Steaks! Edited by CrescentFresh
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Is this the same reliable source that told people int he neighborhood that we were going to be a "family style restaurant like Bucca di Beppo?" :P

Post of the week award and it's only Monday :wub:

Micheal, for the good of the people I am willing to make the sacrifice and eat all the deviled eggs that remain. I cannot promise that the men and children will not be harmed in the process though.

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We hear the entire staff of Ray's is being enrolled in the Uriah

Heep School of Bookkeeping. Then they will go to work for the Federal Government. This will provide them with regular hours, a good pension plan, and low stress. You will still be able to interact with them, but only at 6:00 or 8:00 P.M .

Edited by dameedna
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Shhhhhh, no one's supposed to know so we will all play nice while he's away :wub:

I watch over everything, even when I'm away.

I looked into a full-length mirror the other morning and came to the distressing conclusion that I look exactly like Ron Jeremy (from the waist up :P ). So I decided to take a few days to begin reexamining that svelte, boyish muscularity and verve we all came to know and love when I was in my previous profession. I'm here, but I'm not here. I exist, but I don't exist. It's that simple, and yet it's not.

And I'll be back this weekend,

Rocks, skimming on Walden Pond.

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I watch over everything, even when I'm away.

I looked into a full-length mirror the other morning and came to the distressing conclusion that I look exactly like Ron Jeremy (from the waist up  :wub: ).  So I decided to take a few days to begin reexamining that svelte, boyish muscularity and verve we all came to know and love when I was in my previous profession.  I'm here, but I'm not here.  I exist, but I don't exist.  It's that simple, and yet it's not. 

And I'll be back this weekend,

Rocks, skimming on Walden Pond.

Don't believe the hype.

My well-placed sources say that he is at a secret clinic tucked into the corner of a Burgundian cave getting pec and calf implants. :P

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