Michael Landrum Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 As many of you who follow eGullet already know, Ray's The Steaks is in IMMINENT DANGER of closing!!!I have it from the highest authority that the suicidal mismanagement and criminal lack of respect for the guest that have been the hallmarks of Ray's The Steaks from the day we opened are catching up with us and we are to soon meet the FATE THAT WE DESERVE!!! I mention this here so that people have one last chance to dine at Ray's. I don't have a final date for our closing yet. We are fully booked for the next three weeks, so you may not be able to get in right away, but we may close ANY TIME after that. I would like to hold out hope that we are not closing, but the source on our CERTAIN SUICIDAL DEMISE is inarguably infallible. So hurry before the doors close forever. It's a little early to be knocking them back, isn't it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrescentFresh Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 As many of you who follow eGullet already know, Ray's The Steaks is in IMMINENT DANGER of closing!!!I have it from the highest authority that the suicidal mismanagement and criminal lack of respect for the guest that have been the hallmarks of Ray's The Steaks from the day we opened are catching up with us and we are to soon meet the FATE THAT WE DESERVE!!! I mention this here so that people have one last chance to dine at Ray's. I don't have a final date for our closing yet. We are fully booked for the next three weeks, so you may not be able to get in right away, but we may close ANY TIME after that. I would like to hold out hope that we are not closing, but the source on our CERTAIN SUICIDAL DEMISE is inarguably infallible. So hurry before the doors close forever. Say it ain't so, Joe! p.s. I'm still holding my breath. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shogun Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Lordhamercy!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meaghan Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 "the source on our CERTAIN SUICIDAL DEMISE is inarguably infallible." Who or what is the source? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacques Gastreaux Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 (edited) I heard that the real reason Ray's might close is because it has become a security threat. After the bombings in London, the Department of Homeland Security hastily put together a "short list" of likely targets for an al Quaida mini terrorist attack. Because Ray's presents such a cluster of innocent civilians in one place at one time, Ray's has made to near the top of that short list. Hence, DHS has heightend the security in the vicinity of Ray's the Steaks. With all the added security personnel, parking has gotten worse and the guys with dark suits and bugs in their ears have been getting between the cooks and grill making the 90-minute time limit for diners next to impossible to meet. The bright side is that there is an upside profit potential because the security personnel insist on "government rates" for meals; it turns out Michael can raise his prices. Thus, he may be able to stay open for a little bit longer. Edited July 11, 2005 by Jacques Gastreaux Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stretch Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 (edited) I knew things were getting bad when I heard they'd put Slipp out to work as a rent boy to cover Landrum's coke debts. Oh, and the reason the new branch in Silver Spring hasn't opened yet is because right now it's still being used to store all the kidnapped Midwestern virgins and Russian backpack nukes. (This is the scurrilous rumor section of the Web site, right?) Edited July 11, 2005 by Stretch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPW Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Does this mean you'll open in Silver Spring any earlier? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meaghan Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Nearly had a heart attack just reading the title of this thread. Michael: Are you off your meds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonc Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 oh no! but i guess we all saw this coming a mile away. let me know if you need any help finishing off the wine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FunnyJohn Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 So is Five Guys going to open in your space? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deangold Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Is this the same reliable source that told people int he neighborhood that we were going to be a "family style restaurant like Bucca di Beppo?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrescentFresh Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 (edited) Is this the same reliable source that told people int he neighborhood that we were going to be a "family style restaurant like Bucca di Beppo?" I haven't been in to your place yet, Dean, but if I see one of those pope's head lazy susans when I get there, I'm leaving and rushing right to Ray's the Steaks! Edited July 11, 2005 by CrescentFresh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillvalley Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Is this the same reliable source that told people int he neighborhood that we were going to be a "family style restaurant like Bucca di Beppo?" Post of the week award and it's only Monday Micheal, for the good of the people I am willing to make the sacrifice and eat all the deviled eggs that remain. I cannot promise that the men and children will not be harmed in the process though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DameEdna Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 (edited) We hear the entire staff of Ray's is being enrolled in the Uriah Heep School of Bookkeeping. Then they will go to work for the Federal Government. This will provide them with regular hours, a good pension plan, and low stress. You will still be able to interact with them, but only at 6:00 or 8:00 P.M . Edited July 12, 2005 by dameedna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfoodie Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Maybe it's the 4 glasses of valpolicella talking, but I'm still trying to figure out if this post is a joke or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Slater Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Maybe it's the 4 glasses of valpolicella talking, but I'm still trying to figure out if this post is a joke or not. Rocks is obviously away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfoodie Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Rocks is obviously away. Jokes on me. I'm off to bed -- Certain to awake tomorrow morning to a tannin hangover. Maybe Michael will take pitty on me and hook me up with a reservation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillvalley Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Rocks is obviously away. Shhhhhh, no one's supposed to know so we will all play nice while he's away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonRocks Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Shhhhhh, no one's supposed to know so we will all play nice while he's away I watch over everything, even when I'm away. I looked into a full-length mirror the other morning and came to the distressing conclusion that I look exactly like Ron Jeremy (from the waist up ). So I decided to take a few days to begin reexamining that svelte, boyish muscularity and verve we all came to know and love when I was in my previous profession. I'm here, but I'm not here. I exist, but I don't exist. It's that simple, and yet it's not. And I'll be back this weekend, Rocks, skimming on Walden Pond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPW Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 I watch over everything, even when I'm away.I looked into a full-length mirror the other morning and came to the distressing conclusion that I look exactly like Ron Jeremy (from the waist up ). So I decided to take a few days to begin reexamining that svelte, boyish muscularity and verve we all came to know and love when I was in my previous profession. I'm here, but I'm not here. I exist, but I don't exist. It's that simple, and yet it's not. And I'll be back this weekend, Rocks, skimming on Walden Pond. Don't believe the hype. My well-placed sources say that he is at a secret clinic tucked into the corner of a Burgundian cave getting pec and calf implants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacques Gastreaux Posted July 13, 2005 Share Posted July 13, 2005 Don't believe the hype.My well-placed sources say that he is at a secret clinic tucked into the corner of a Burgundian cave getting pec and calf implants. On this board, a pec and calf implant would be construed as gorging one's self on Italian sheeps' milk cheese and veal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deangold Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 veal. Wouldn't that be veal cheeks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacques Gastreaux Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 Wouldn't that be veal cheeks? I was thinking chops myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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