Is this a "faux pas"??

[Seeker]

I'm a member of egullet.com and dr.com, and travel frequently for business and pleasure. When dining out, is it a faux pas to identify myself as a member of one of these communities to a restaurant?

[Nadya]

I'm a member of egullet.com and dr.com, and travel frequently for business and pleasure. When dining out, is it a faux pas to identify myself as a member of one of these communities to a restaurant?

That's for you to decide. Personally, I never tell about my donrockwellianism unless questioned. I think it is tacky. Edited to add I think it's OK to say you learned about the restaurant from XXX, but to extend it to "I AM FROM..." is preposterous.

Furthermore, I have wet dreams of sitting at the bar someplace, and overhearing someone make that statement, so that I can bust their bottom by administering a 10-question on-the-spot quiz of the "How many posts does it take to get to hammerhead?", "Who's a kitty sniper?" and "Where was the 2005 fall picnic held" and watching them squirm uncomfortably and weep into their Bud Light.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

I'm a member of egullet.com and dr.com, and travel frequently for business and pleasure. When dining out, is it a faux pas to identify myself as a member of one of these communities to a restaurant?

This has been hashed out before but it has never, to my recollection, been raised so starkly in its own thread.

It's a tricky issue. I think everyone would agree that there is no problem mentioning that your read about a particular establishment on either DR.com or on eG. I think all would further agree that mentioning that you post on one or the other or both of the boards with the expectation of something complimentary or with a veiled threat that if you don't get something you will post negatively is verboten. Also, saying something to the effect "I'm from DonRockwell.com," if Don Rockwell found out about it, would likely get your posting privileges suspended.

[starfish]

I'm a member of egullet.com and dr.com, and travel frequently for business and pleasure. When dining out, is it a faux pas to identify myself as a member of one of these communities to a restaurant?

this is a matter of context, imho. informing a member of the staff that you "learned about your restaurant through blank.com and are very excited to try it" is very different than "i am so and so from blank.com". the former informs management of a source for guests, the latter seems to be asking for special treatment. but the larger question, in my mind, is to what end? what is the purpose for identifying oneself? introducing yourself to an active participant in this forum or another seems only polite, however, name-dropping for other purposes...

my $0.02.

[agm]

If there's an active member of the board at a restaurant, it's nice to say hello and give each party a chance to put a face to the name. If there isn't, then what would be the purpose of mentioning the board?

If, after your meal, you've decided that you had a wonderful experience and that you're going to talk about it on the board, then it might be nice to say so to your server or the manager. However, if it wasn't a great meal, then telling them that you're planning to trash the place online would probably just piss people off.

[DanCole42]

but the larger question, in my mind, is to what end?

I agree with Danny here. It's entirely based on intention. If you EVER mention eG or DR.com with the idea of getting something comped or as a "veiled threat," just know that Santa Claus is watching you, and Santa Claus always remembers.

Whenever I'm visiting any kind of establishment I've never been to before, be it restaurant or other, I'll mention WHERE I heard about the particular establishment, including if that referral happens to be from DR.com. This is because, as a businessman, I would want someone to do the same for me. I think it would hurt a restaurant's marketing efforts if this were verboten.

If I know an industry professional happens to post here, and I'm visiting their establishment, I'll introduce myself as a member. I'm not expecting special treatment (nor do I want any - it makes me feel horribly uncomfortable), I'm just being sociable (Hi, Rissa!). It's no different than if I had met someone at a restaurant convention and then showed up at their restaurant and said "Hey, Johnny! It's me, Dan! We met at BeefCon '06."

So as long as you're just being sociable or providing valuable market insight, "name-dropping" is all right. If it's for any sort of selfish or manipulative reason, then, forget it.

[DonRocks]

For whatever it's worth, I've only dropped the dr bomb once. Just so there's full disclosure, I'll go ahead and post this picture, which I took with my cellphone immediately afterwards.

[shogun]

If you want to completely eliminate the appearance of impropriety, save the intro and revelation until you've paid the check and are on the way out.

[Banco]

For whatever it's worth, I've only dropped the dr bomb once. Just so there's full disclosure, I'll go ahead and post this picture, which I took with my cellphone immediately afterwards.

I take it your cellphone was crushed immediately afterwards underneath something you would rather not reveal?

[JPW]

Unless it's some place where I am already known, my preference is not to say anything at all.

Unlike going to a shop and saying, "I heard about you from Consumer Reports", any mention of a media outlet where the content is all user provided carries an implicit threat of "make me happy or else."

As mentioned by others, making that threat explicit by proclaiming more than "I heard about you from yyy.com" is lower than low.

[Heather]

Unless it's some place where I am already known, my preference is not to say anything at all.

That would be my inclination as well, unless someone from the establishment is an online acquaintance that asks me to introduce myself.

[qwertyy]

If I strike up a conversation and it's appropriate, I might say I'd been wanting to try X place or Y dish since I read about it. Then if they ask me where I read, I'll share. But with my friends, I mostly I refer to the guilty pleasure that is DR.com as "my food-nerd site."

[Al Dente]

I've mentioned it if the subject has come up, and there have been a number of times I've been somewhere where one on my fellow rockwellians walked in, discussions ensued, and this has at times resulted in the bartender (of course I'm at the bar) overhearing us.

On a related note, somewhat recently, a friend of mine told the hostess at one of our sacred cow establishments that he knew Al Dente. When he told me this I was mortified. He won't be doing it again, and I have no idea why he thought this would give him some special treatment. If anything, I hope they watered down his drinks.

[Pappy]

Unless it's some place where I am already known, my preference is not to say anything at all.

Unlike going to a shop and saying, "I heard about you from Consumer Reports", any mention of a media outlet where the content is all user provided carries an implicit threat of "make me happy or else."

As mentioned by others, making that threat explicit by proclaiming more than "I heard about you from yyy.com" is lower than low.

I think JPW is right here. I don't think it's appropriate to ever mention dr.com, and I hope every contributor feels the same. Certainly none of us, Don especially I'm sure, would want Rockwell.com to gain the wrong reputation in the restaurant community due to the actions or presumptions of any single person. It would be very easy for a manager or an owner to mis-understand anything but the most carefully worded introduction. (And careful wording is not my specialty, at least, as I'm leaving the dinner table.)

I don't even think mentioning after the meal serves any purpose. The idea Dan 42 presents that you are giving them marketing feedback falls short. It is not as if they paid for an ad on the site. Rather, it's more like "I heard about your restaurant from a stranger at a cocktail party. Several people who seemed to know what they were talking about liked it very much." Is that helpful?

[Sthitch]

I would never share the information unless I was asked. If someone asked me how I found out about a restaurant, I will tell them, whether it is here, or the Washington Post, or by word of mouth. Otherwise I would not bring it up. This happened last night at Daniel O'Connell's in Old Town when Chef Lawson came by the table to chat, he asked how we found the restaurant and I told him. He had never heard of the site before, so hopefully he will come by and join in the fun.

[crackers]

A little reminder that the registration terms and rules say that :

You agree not to use your individual affiliation with this bulletin board in any way to knowingly solicit, induce or receive, directly or indirectly, in any manner, any sort of remuneration, in the form of free or discounted items, special service or otherwise.

[DanCole42]

The idea Dan 42 presents that you are giving them marketing feedback falls short. It is not as if they paid for an ad on the site. Rather, it's more like "I heard about your restaurant from a stranger at a cocktail party. Several people who seemed to know what they were talking about liked it very much." Is that helpful?

DR.com is hardly a cocktail party:

If I ran a mom and pop music store*, and someone came in and said "This place is amazing! I've never seen so many rare LPs. I heard about you on DCMusicScene.com, they love you, by the way, - it's this great local forum for music lovers." I'd probably check it out and start talking about music and consequently my store. Not just as a way to promote my store, but also as a great resource for talking to like-minded people who are passionate about and interested in music.

*Note- What I do has NOTHING to do with music, but I always appreciate hearing where people heard about us.

[B.A.R.]

I'm a member of egullet.com and dr.com...........is it a faux pas to identify myself as a member of one of these communities to a restaurant?

Yes.

[Escoffier]

For whatever it's worth, I've only dropped the dr bomb once. Just so there's full disclosure, I'll go ahead and post this picture, which I took with my cellphone immediately afterwards.

and the most relevant part of this picture is in the yellow warning notice to the right...

[ScotteeM]

I simply wear my official DR.com tee-shirt over my business casual.

[demandalicious]

I simply wear my official DR.com tee-shirt over my business casual.

Me too! I've also found that banging the chef works wonders if you're trying to get special treatment.

[Nadya]

Me too! I've also found that banging the chef works wonders if you're trying to get special treatment.

Actually, for that to work you'll need to KEEP banging him. Otherwise, it will work against you.

[demandalicious]

Actually, for that to work you'll need to KEEP banging him. Otherwise, it will work against you.

Actually, I was joking.

We might need a thread split though.

[RaisaB]

I think the context in which you mention the websites is the only deciding factor. If you are mentioning it before the meal in order to gain favors, people will see through you,and ultimately you come out loking like the loser you are.

I have mentioned DR.com twice. Once to Danny Boylen, only because I had "seen" him online so often and once after my meal to the owner of a new restaurant. He seemed a bit out of touch with things and I mentioned quite a few industry people were on here and he might like it.

[Waitman]

Actually, I like to take the game one step further and let the establishment "discover" that I am, in fact, DonRocks himself. There's a couple of different techniques -- start by having everyone at the table call you "Don" or "Rocks;" get down to the Kinko's and have them print up some busines scards to leave ostentatiously strewn about; critic the wine list aloud in great deal, complaining about the lack small house champagnes and mid-priced "finds."

Once recognized, act embarrassed but deny nothing. The results are spectacular: extra plates, free bottles of red Burgundy; walk-in knee-tremblers with the model-length hostesses; comps out the wazoo. Usually I can get friends to pay me just to join me at dinner,so I can walk away well-fed and fifty or a hundred bucks to the better on a good night.

It helps keep up on Rocks' posts, both so you can drop in the poetic language and trenchant analyses that mark Rockwellian criticism into conversation whenever a chef or an owner walks by -- and so that you know where not to go. Last month I got behind in my reading and ended up at Sushi Kappo Kawasaki not having read Don's savaging and was saved from a painful and inevitable death only by having read at random an eGullet thread on fugu earlier that day.

This strategy works particularly well for new openings, as the owners are particularly eager to please. Inevitably, the "real" Rocks shows up a couple of days, writes the place up and no one is the wiser.

[mdt]

Actually, I like to take the game one step further and let the establishment "discover" that I am, in fact, DonRocks himself. There's a couple of different techniques -- start by having everyone at the table call you "Don" or "Rocks;" get down to the Kinko's and have them print up some busines scards to leave ostentatiously strewn about; critic the wine list aloud in great deal, complaining about the lack small house champagnes and mid-priced "finds."

Once recognized, act embarrassed but deny nothing. The results are spectacular: extra plates, free bottles of red Burgundy; walk-in knee-tremblers with the model-length hostesses; comps out the wazoo. Usually I can get friends to pay me just to join me at dinner,so I can walk away well-fed and fifty or a hundred bucks to the better on a good night.

It helps keep up on Rocks' posts, both so you can drop in the poetic language and trenchant analyses that mark Rockwellian criticism into conversation whenever a chef or an owner walks by -- and so that you know where not to go. Last month I got behind in my reading and ended up at Sushi Kappo Kawasaki not having read Don's savaging and was saved from a painful and inevitable death only by having read at random an eGullet thread on fugu earlier that day.

This strategy works particularly well for new openings, as the owners are particularly eager to please. Inevitably, the "real" Rocks shows up a couple of days, writes the place up and no one is the wiser.

This really works for you? When I have tried it, they just spit in my food.

[Nadya]

Actually, I like to take the game one step further and let the establishment "discover" that I am, in fact, DonRocks himself. There's a couple of different techniques -- start by having everyone at the table call you "Don" or "Rocks;" get down to the Kinko's and have them print up some busines scards to leave ostentatiously strewn about; critic the wine list aloud in great deal, complaining about the lack small house champagnes and mid-priced "finds."

Once recognized, act embarrassed but deny nothing. The results are spectacular: extra plates, free bottles of red Burgundy; walk-in knee-tremblers with the model-length hostesses; comps out the wazoo. Usually I can get friends to pay me just to join me at dinner,so I can walk away well-fed and fifty or a hundred bucks to the better on a good night.

It helps keep up on Rocks' posts, both so you can drop in the poetic language and trenchant analyses that mark Rockwellian criticism into conversation whenever a chef or an owner walks by -- and so that you know where not to go. Last month I got behind in my reading and ended up at Sushi Kappo Kawasaki not having read Don's savaging and was saved from a painful and inevitable death only by having read at random an eGullet thread on fugu earlier that day.

This strategy works particularly well for new openings, as the owners are particularly eager to please. Inevitably, the "real" Rocks shows up a couple of days, writes the place up and no one is the wiser.

I tried to pass for Rocks, but results were parlous failure, so I would rather bang the chef.