Freebies in Restaurants

[Ericandblueboy]

Washington, DC:

Todd,

Question for you... A few weeks ago, my friends took me to dinner at a "Exceedingly Popular Because We Were Featured on Food Network" restaurant for my birthday.

Unbeknownst to me, one of my friends mentioned this fact to our waitperson and asked if anything can be brought over. He said yes and, at the appropriate time, he brought over a slice of delicious cake with a candle. Lovely, yes? It was... until the bill came and there was a $10 charge for the cake.

I don't think it was fair for them to bill us when 1) no charge was mentioned when she inquired (I think that's, at a minimum, what should've been done so we weren't blindsided) and 2) we had a tab of $400+ (that wouldn't warrant a lower charge, at least?)...

Todd, I HATE expecting free things for birthdays... It's tacky. So that's not what I'm asking for here... However, this isn't sitting with us well... Thoughts?

Todd Kliman:

It's not sitting well with me, and I wasn't the one stuck with the bill.

It's beyond tacky.

It's greedy. It's cunning. It's deplorable.

I really wish you would name names, here. I think the restaurant deserves to be exposed for this.

And now we're all dying to know who ... ; )

I just don't know what people expect these days? If you ask for something to be brought over, does that mean you want something for free?

[ChiantiandFava]

If the service staff had mentioned a charge I'm sure they would have fought it or at least looked at him/her incredulously. And somehow expecting a cheap slice of cake when their table spent a lot of money doesn't make them cheap? Clearly the writer had their mind made up and was just waiting for a slip up before entering the "Exceedingly Popular Because We Were Featured on Food Network" restaurant.

[goodeats]

I just don't know what people expect these days? If you ask for something to be brought over, does that mean you want something for free?

I have a question - when I was young, chain restaurants, which where I dined mostly growing up, did not charge for birthday treats. This could be a slice of cake, ice cream, etc. Did fine dining establishments or non-chains always charged? If so, is there a way to ask if a place charges before the restaurant brings out a dessert as part of a celebration? What if you didn't ask for it? What is the polite way to reject it?

[Pat]

I have a question - when I was young, chain restaurants, which where I dined mostly growing up, did not charge for birthday treats. This could be a slice of cake, ice cream, etc. Did fine dining establishments or non-chains always charged? If so, is there a way to ask if a place charges before the restaurant brings out a dessert as part of a celebration? What if you didn't ask for it? What is the polite way to reject it?

I think the distinction is between letting the restaurant know in advance that it is a special occasion and specifically asking for the restaurant to provide something. If you note on Open Table or over the phone when you make the reservation, "This is a birthday dinner for my father" or "This is a celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary," then the restaurant may choose to offer you something gratis. (That's especially true if *they* ask *you* if it's a special occasion.) If you show up at the restaurant and say, "It's Joe's birthday. Can you send something out?", you're more likely to be charged. This is my sense of it anyway, that it's a difference between giving them the opportunity to be hospitable and quasi-ordering a dessert. Someone actually in the hospitality business can probably give a better answer.

I think many of the chain restaurants--especially the ones for kids--have their own system. ("Free ice cream on your birthday!")

[B.A.R.]

A great many restaurants offer up a free dessert for birthdays/anniversaries, etc. It is a gesture of goodwill and hospitality. But I cannot for the life of me understand why many people assume that every restaurant will give them something for nothing for a special occasion.

The complaint above seems exacerbated by the diner's obvious disappointment at paying $400 for dinner. It wasn't as if they asked for a glass of sparkling wine and were brought over a $50 glass of Dom Perignon. The $10 dessert amounts to 2.5% of the bill, and this set them off? It seems to me the intention was to receive a FREE dessert. If so, state that and ask "Do you provide a free dessert for birthdays?"

[Heather]

1) I should have paced myself to finish at exactly the same moment as my dining companion, but I was a just a little bit too fast.
2) If you clear my plate now, then my dining companion is forced to eat while I sit there and watch, and feels compelled to rush.

Dishes should never be cleared until everyone is done eating.

I am failing to understand why the complainer expected a free dessert without making some kind of advance arrangement with the restaurant. Is this the norm at fine dining establishments? Maybe at TGI Fridays, or Bennigan's, or Farrell's (does Farrell's still exist?) but I wouldn't expect free dacquoise at Citronelle just because I pull the waiter aside and mention that it's my companion's birthday.

[Dave Pressley]

Back in "the day" (I'm dating myself a bit here), the rule of thumb was to clear a table when 2/3rds of the the plates were finished. That isn't the case these days and tables shouldn't be cleared until everyone is finished with their course. Some restaurants have yet to update their policies on bussing and a lot of servers/bussers carry on this tragic step of service until they are "caught" by management and told to wait until the entire party is finished. It's not done out of ill will, just outdated service training.

Furthermore, I have always trained my staff(s) to always clear a plate if the guest has pushed their plate forward or to the side regardless of the state of the other guests' plates. It tells me that a guest (customer...whatever) wants their plate to be gone.

As far as birthday/anniversary desserts, I hate that people expect them to be free. Damn the chain restaurants for making this an expectation!

My favorite personal tale from the restaurant side as far as this subject goes...

An obnoxious group comes to the bar and demands a free dessert or shot for the birthday girl. The bartender says, "I've never even met her before. Why would I buy her something when you (her friends) won't even do it?"

Expect to pay for everything and be happy when you don't have to. And tip for the freebie if you get it!! (If you get a $7 dessert bought for you, add at least $4 to the tip.)

[johnb]

And tip for the freebie if you get it!! (If you get a $7 dessert bought for you, add at least $4 to the tip.)

I often wondered about that. Doesn't it encourage the staff to "help themselves" to the restaurant's food in order to increase their own income? Some might view this as a form of theft on the part of the staff. Not necessarily something that management ought to be encouraging, although it could, within limits, be good for the restaurant as well.

Do modern register systems keep track of this kind of thing? Surely restaurants have guidelines about it.

[Dave Pressley]

I often wondered about that. Doesn't it encourage the staff to "help themselves" to the restaurant's food in order to increase their own income? Some might view this as a form of theft on the part of the staff. Not necessarily something that management ought to be encouraging, although it could, within limits, be good for the restaurant as well.

Do modern register systems keep track of this kind of thing? Surely restaurants have guidelines about it.

Certainly a good point. In the restaurants where I've worked, no food ever gets made without being rung in and we (managers) stay very involved in the dining room so we'd catch it if someone tried to pull a fast one on us. In high-volume places where the servers help themselves to desserts and the like, I'm sure there have been many issues regarding dessert pilfering.

As far as tipping, I know that most servers do not like comping anything, because the 18-20% they would have received on those items just disappeared. Most folks don't tip on items not on the bill. Obviously, there is a chance that the customer will tip more because dessert was bought for them, but I can tell you that it doesn't work out better for the server 95% of the time when we comp anything, unless they are industry folks.

[monavano]

^^

I have to say that those stats surprise me... or perhaps not. I always increase the tip to reflect what the total would have been if the item were charged to me.

The folks who don't adjust their tips may be the same ones who don't tip fully with a Groupon.

I increase the tip if dining during RW too.

[Dave Pressley]

^^

I have to say that those stats surprise me... or perhaps not. I always increase the tip to reflect what the total would have been if the item were charged to me.

The folks who don't adjust their tips may be the same ones who don't tip fully with a Groupon.

I increase the tip if dining during RW too.

Alas, you are in the minority. Every time I comp something from a bill, I check afterwards to see if the server has been taken care of in the tip. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've floated the server cash out of my own pocket because I felt badly about basically taking money out of their pockets by buying desserts or something for a table.

Bless you for tipping extra during RW, too!

[leleboo]

Alas, you are in the minority.

That's so awful! I can't believe people take comps and don't tip on it ... well, no, I can believe it, but it saddens me. (It dovetails with why I don't usually dine out during Restaurant Week -- but that's a whole other can of worms.)

[bookluvingbabe]

That's so awful! I can't believe people take comps and don't tip on it ... well, no, I can believe it, but it saddens me. (It dovetails with why I don't usually dine out during Restaurant Week -- but that's a whole other can of worms.)

What if you are comped something for god-awful service? What do you do then?

(under all ore circumstances I up the tip for a comp. I also up the tip when dining out with others who under tip.)

[Pat]

^^

I have to say that those stats surprise me... or perhaps not. I always increase the tip to reflect what the total would have been if the item were charged to me.

The folks who don't adjust their tips may be the same ones who don't tip fully with a Groupon.

I increase the tip if dining during RW too.

I'm not usually the one calculating the tip under these circumstances, so I don't know if we do, but if we're brought glasses of sparkling wine compliments of the house for our anniversary (as happened recently), I assume that is something done at the behest of management (i.e., they were behind asking if it was a special occasion) and we're not obligated to add an extra tip for the server. If a server is assigned a table with a special event where something is sent out, is that server actually penalized? That hardly seems right. It's not like the server dropped a platter on the floor and then brought something out to compensate while the food is remade.

In the anniversary event, I'm figuring our check is high enough to begin with that the range of tip probably compensates the server for a little extra anyway.

I always tip on the full price of a coupon meal, etc., or if a bartender gives me a free drink, but the complimentary "special occasion" items didn't occur to me before. It's not like I ask for them.

[Dave Pressley]

There's a million reasons why comps happen. Maybe the table is a friend/relative of the owner or an employee. Maybe it's an ex-employee that left on good terms. Maybe the table is sampling the menu for a future large dinner or event. Maybe we just liked the people at the table and bought them something. Maybe we felt like they didn't enjoy their meal as much as we wanted them to...nothing was bad, but nothing was great either. Maybe it is their anniversary or birthday and they weren't drinkers, so we knocked something off the bill to be nice. Maybe you were had to comp stuff because of potential good PR for the restaurant. Maybe it's a regular guest. Et cetera, et cetera...

If something is bought for me regardless of the situation, I throw a few bucks in the gratuity. It gets shared between the entire service team and I always want to express my gratitude. I personally typically tip 50% (or a bit more) of what the item should have cost me. Managment/owner/chef buys me a $10 glass of wine, I leave an extra $5 or so for the server. That's just how I (and many others in the industry) usually do it.

There's no hard and fast rule to it. There should be no feeling of obligation to tip extra. If you want to toss down some extra cash, any server would be happy to accept it. Then you would part of the minority as well.

[dcs]

There's a million reasons why comps happen. Maybe the table is a friend/relative of the owner or an employee. Maybe it's an ex-employee that left on good terms. Maybe the table is sampling the menu for a future large dinner or event. Maybe we just liked the people at the table and bought them something. Maybe we felt like they didn't enjoy their meal as much as we wanted them to...nothing was bad, but nothing was great either. Maybe it is their anniversary or birthday and they weren't drinkers, so we knocked something off the bill to be nice. Maybe you were had to comp stuff because of potential good PR for the restaurant. Maybe it's a regular guest. Et cetera, et cetera...

If something is bought for me regardless of the situation, I throw a few bucks in the gratuity. It gets shared between the entire service team and I always want to express my gratitude. I personally typically tip 50% (or a bit more) of what the item should have cost me. Managment/owner/chef buys me a $10 glass of wine, I leave an extra $5 or so for the server. That's just how I (and many others in the industry) usually do it.

There's no hard and fast rule to it. There should be no feeling of obligation to tip extra. If you want to toss down some extra cash, any server would be happy to accept it. Then you would part of the minority as well.

Do you (or are you aware of others who) allow bartenders a certain number of authorized buy-backs a night? This is to address the potential inference that the staff is stealing whenever they give you something for free.

[Dave Pressley]

Do you (or are you aware of others who) allow bartenders a certain number of authorized buy-backs a night? This is to address the potential inference that the staff is stealing whenever they give you something for free.

Yes and no. They have a certain dollar amount that they cannot exceed under normal circumstances, but sometimes we just get a lot of friends, family, investors and regulars in on the same night. Then we exceed the limit and make it up through the rest of the week normally.

I think it's pretty typical to have a set limit each night, based on dollar amount cap or a cap on the percentage of comps vs. net sales.

[Dave Pressley]

What if you are comped something for god-awful service? What do you do then?

(under all ore circumstances I up the tip for a comp. I also up the tip when dining out with others who under tip.)

Speaking only for myself here...if I comp items solely because the service is really bad, I usually tell the table not to tip at all. Thankfully, this has only been a very rare occurance for me. I had to do it once at Eventide. It pained me to see people so unhappy with their service and I used it as a disciplinary motivator for the server.

The couple left happy (and became great regulars) and the server learned a valuable lesson.

[porcupine]

It happened again.

Went into a restaurant the other night for a light meal after an event.  They brought us champagne.  Then a little something from the kitchen.  Then, in an unusual turn of events, the waiter broke the fourth wall.

"The note here says you're a big blogger on donrockwell.com."

Not any more, clueless one.  This is one of the reasons why I rarely post in the restaurants and dining forums.

I can't tell you how much I regret using my real name in my signature line.

I used to think that these little gifts were gestures of appreciation, for being frequent customers who make a point of being polite to the staff, tip well, and don't camp at the table.  Silly, naive porcupine.

Note to publicists, owners, chefs, restaurateurs in general:  I'm not a whore.  I'm not playing your game. 

My good opinion is not for sale.

Also, fuck you.

[DonRocks]

It happened again.

Went into a restaurant the other night for a light meal after an event.  They brought us champagne.  Then a little something from the kitchen.  Then, in an unusual turn of events, the waiter broke the fourth wall.

"The note here says you're a big blogger on donrockwell.com."

Not any more, clueless one.  This is one of the reasons why I rarely post in the restaurants and dining forums.

I can't tell you how much I regret using my real name in my signature line.

I used to think that these little gifts were gestures of appreciation, for being frequent customers who make a point of being polite to the staff, tip well, and don't camp at the table.  Silly, naive porcupine.

Note to publicists, owners, chefs, restaurateurs in general:  I'm not a whore.  I'm not playing your game.

My good opinion is not for sale.

Also, fuck you.

I'm not going to delete your post of course, but this is somewhat injurious to both me and this website *when I've done nothing wrong*.

[Bart]

Where did this happen? 
How often does it happen?
Are you a food blogger or is this all about your name showing up in your posts?
 
How do I add my name to my signature block?!!??!?

[Bart]

Also this brings up a point that Tom S sometimes makes..............if he gets freebies like champagne or a few extra shrimp or larger than normal piece of foie gras, he may mention it his review which will lead the rest of us to expect the same.  When we don't get it, we'll be disappointed and suffer in silence, vent to our companions or post a negative review here, on chowhound, on yelp, etc.  So this kind of thing could back fire in the long run.  Sure the "free champagne" may get me in the door once, but if I don't get it, or if I don't get all the wonderful freebies that bloggers get (which I'm now expecting) I'm unlikely to return since I'll feel like I'm getting ripped off.

[Pat]

Re: "somewhat injurious to both me and this website"...It struck me that when restaurants do this to people who don't want to be played, it works directly against your goal of having transparency by encouraging people to use their real full names when they post.  There are people who are happy to game the system this way, but by not doing and/or applying their research with some finesse, the restaurants and their "advance people" are doing themselves a disservice.

I would like to read a lot more about porcupine's dining out experiences, but this has come up before and she's explained it before.  I can see why she's so frustrated.  I see very few posts from some people I know are eating out and would have interesting things to write, but I suspect porcupine is not the only diner with this problem.

[Al Dente]

I read this as "Frisbees in Restaurants" which seemed like a bad idea, but piqued my curiosity.

I need some freakin' reading glasses. But that would mean I'm not 30 anymore (or anywhere close).

[DonRocks]

I read this as "Frisbees in Restaurants" which seemed like a bad idea, but piqued my curiosity.

I need some freakin' reading glasses. But that would mean I'm not 30 anymore (or anywhere close).

All your problems could have been solved at New York Avenue Beach Bar.

[TedE]

I'm not going to delete your post of course, but this is somewhat injurious to both me and this website *when I've done nothing wrong*.

Don, I don't see how this is injurious to your or the site unless you think the implication is that you were selling access to your user base.  The fact is you've created an open community that collects a wide selection of enthusiastic consumers with interesting and often thoughtful things to say about the local dining scene.  If a restaurant maintains a VIP list of sorts they would be remiss not to seed it with notable DR users.  In fact, you've already done a bulk of the grunt work for them!  It may not sit well with you or porcupine, but that's the Yelp-ified world that we live in.  The best you can do is make that fact known as a reason that you would not return.

[DonRocks]

Don, I don't see how this is injurious to your or the site unless you think the implication is that you were selling access to your user base.  The fact is you've created an open community that collects a wide selection of enthusiastic consumers with interesting and often thoughtful things to say about the local dining scene.  If a restaurant maintains a VIP list of sorts they would be remiss not to seed it with notable DR users.  In fact, you've already done a bulk of the grunt work for them!  It may not sit well with you or porcupine, but that's the Yelp-ified world that we live in.  The best you can do is make that fact known as a reason that you would not return.

This is one of the reasons why I rarely post in the restaurants and dining forums.

I can't tell you how much I regret using my real name in my signature line.

I don't have any problem with a restaurant acting in its own best interest (to a point), and I can't control the actions of others.

But I want people to post in the restaurants and dining forums, and I encourage (not require; encourage) people to use their real names.

This has all remained a constant since April 15, 2005.

[porcupine]

I'm not going to delete your post of course, but this is somewhat injurious to both me and this website *when I've done nothing wrong*.

Other than perhaps discouraging people from posting, I don't see this at all.  And of course you've done nothing wrong.  Delete it if you need to, it doesn't matter to me.  I was venting.

Where did this happen?

How often does it happen?

Are you a food blogger or is this all about your name showing up in your posts?

How do I add my name to my signature block?!!??!?

It doesn't happen often, but it does happen.  Only a few times has it been so blatantly obvious, though.

I used to post often (too often) in the restaurants and dining forum, so I guess I was a "big blogger" here.

If you want to play the game put your real name in your sig line, make reservations using that name, and make sure your restaurant write-ups have specific details, like "I took my wife to New Big Trendy last night for her birthday and we splurged on the truffle tasting menu"; the owners of the restaurant will pick up on that and start keeping tabs on you.  Doesn't that sound like fun?       Of course, even if you keep it vague ("I took my wife here recently...") savvy restaurateurs will still make the connection. 

When I first joined this site there was a big discussion going about legitimacy vs. privacy.  People seemed to think that if you used your real name you couldn't hide behind a handle and would be more accountable for your words.  For that reason I was sorely tempted to join as "Jennifer Johnson" or something, which would have allowed me privacy while giving the look of legitimacy, but I didn't and I regret that.

[DonRocks]

Other than perhaps discouraging people from posting, I don't see this at all.  And of course you've done nothing wrong.  Delete it if you need to, it doesn't matter to me.  I was venting.

...

For that reason I was sorely tempted to join as "Jennifer Johnson" or something, which would have allowed me privacy while giving the look of legitimacy, but I didn't and I regret that.

Nah, it's okay, and I knew you were just venting. I've just always said that our members and their posts are our life blood, and I could not do it without them. You can *always* remove your signature, or change it to "Jennifer Johnson" - we'll be around for awhile, and there will be another restaurant turnover in due time.