Michael Landrum

As the undisputed king of free publicity I should point out a few random thoughts to help balance this discussion: 1) Any restaurateur would eagerly and openly court the loyalty, passion and enthusiasm of Joe H., regardless of whether he posted on any website or not, if only for the unfettered joy he expresses for exceptional food well-served, let alone for the more prosaic benefits his direct spending and direct word of mouth bring. It is the same for many on this board as well. 2) In all of my experience on this board, no self-respecting member has ever angled for freebies or expected any comps or special treatment. Only once has there been a retaliatory post due to the fact that a free course wasn't given. This is due to the clear standards and example that Don and other leading members on this board have set. Compare that to the hundreds of threats of "we'll see what Tom Sietsema has to say about this" I have received, many of which he unwittingly becomes a party to, for whatever inexplicable reason, in his chats and columns. Add to this the threats of retaliation which are made good on the un-moderated reader review section which follows Tom's reviews, Zagat's and the Washingtonian, and you have a pretty good idea of the independent and relative integrity and value of this site. 3) All of the publicity in the world is good for only one visit. 4) The area's busiest and most popular restaurants have either minimal, negative or no presence on this site or any, e. g.: Great American Restaurants, Clyde's, Cheff Geoff's, Matchbox, Lauriol Plaza, and, of course, Rosa Mexicana. 5) Much of what appeals to members of this board and its ilk is a direct turn off to the majority of the dining public, regardless of the recent ascendancy of the gastronautical media. (For example, when I read about food being served on salt plates, simultaneous water pouring, or $24 Drunken Noodles--at lunch!!!--I make an immediate mental note never to go). 6) Sorry to say, but as much as I love you guys, and as I have said before, despite the considerable prestige that comes from recognition on this board, there is an almost insignificant direct economic impact from posts on this site. 7) Why, if Joe H. is compared to David Niven and Amanda is mentioned as being "model-thin," was there no mention of Don's "barely contained, rippling masculinity?" 8) What is the significance of this article appearing the same week as this? Time to go back to ruling the empire that I built on your backs, suckers!

Best. Date. Ever.

If Fransmart, who was only relatively briefly involved with Five Guys, is involved (as per the linked article), then moving fast is usually what happens. It does sound exciting, though, and I wish them all success. I always call or take their Envirocabs whenever possible.

From the post: "We're not alone. In a blog post titled "Why the steakhouse trend passed by San Francisco," San Francisco Chronicle critic Michael Bauer wrote this: "Just about every big-name, chef including Charlie Palmer, Tom Colicchio, Michael Mina and Jean-Georges Vongerichten has gone into the steakhouse business. Steakhouses appeal to a broad range of tastes, and top-flight chefs like to open steakhouses because labor costs are generally lower and it's easier to make a profit." Fine, it's an economic decision. But give us a more ambitious concept, and I promise we'll come spend our hard-earned money. Pretty please with a porterhouse on top?" If doing steaks is so easy, I find it interesting why so many of these big name celebrities--excluding Kraftsteak--fail to produce an outstanding steak in a so-called "steakhouse" (even if the restaurant is otherwise a success). Did anyone ever eat at V.? "An embarrassment" would be the kindest phrase that would come to mind. In my opinion, even more disturbing (sad, really) than the proliferation of steakhouses is the continued fixation and slavish, unquestioning adulation in the local media on absentee chefs who sell-out their names in what basically amounts to a licensing scheme that funnels profits out of the local economy. Haven't they grown tired of being duped yet, just hoping for Eric Ripert to send a pout in their direction? Or worse, aren't they tired of serving as the agents of said duping? (By the way, the above comment was in no way intended specifically as a criticism of Metrocurean whose work is admirable and impressive and who, since she does it for no pay but rather as a labor of love, should be allowed to enjoy the thrill of communing with those she admires and who in their own rights are great talents--just maybe not when it comes to steaks).

Oh I'm sore all right--but it ain't from losing...

Saturday April 4, between 1-4 at Riverside Center, 5200 Foote Street, NE, there will be an unveiling ceremony for the Greater Deanwood Heritage Trail, as described here. The event is being run by, and more information is available through CulturalTourismDC.com. I will be providing free refreshments and grilling up burgers and dogs for the kids (young and old). Service WILL be rushed (or else I'm dead), requests for specified done-ness will NOT be accepted, dirty plates will NOT be left to mess up the tables or the park, and I will most certainly NOT be clean-shaven. Please direct all complaints to Tom Sietsema's on-line chat.

Do you really think that this one day will be any different? Maybe if you spent less time editing others' posts? Just saying...

But never safe from the police. Egads! What have I done???

The bistro special is offered Sunday through Friday for $23.95 for a three course meal, based on availability. Typically, that involves either soup or salad, either a hanger steak or jumbo scallops, and desert. In the first three days or so of being open in the new location there may have been changing availability. I would have answered earlier, but subsequent postings seemed to have answered the question. It is always best to insist on speaking to a manager should any discrepancy arise, or pose your question directly to me. Feel free to PM should this not suffice. PS: I briefly served as a corporal in the infantry, and have a gored out shin bone to prove it, until I was busted back down to private, and managed to survive two court-martials, one for not wearing pants (literally) and both due to an open mouth, without any time served, so you can only imagine the respect and fear I have for a lieutenant. I have heard that the officers' club at Ft Myers serves an excellent dinner, with open-grinned Pullman Car-like service where you will never have to insist on anything.

I am sure that Mark will have more to say on the subject, but first let me enthusiastically state how proud and happy I am to have the opportunity to work with one of the most accomplished, passionate and knowledgeable wine experts in the world, as well as one of the most gracious and most genuine individuals I know. Our goal is nothing less than to create the most radicalized and subversive wine program in the country. My goal is to have Mark make Ray's: The Steaks a national destination for wine lovers to explore and discover new and exciting wines at some very low price points and to make available world-class and distinctive wines that are not readily available otherwise at prices below what would be paid retail or at auction, and dramatically lower than at other restaurants. Honestly, our prices will make the competition's, both retail and restaurants, shit run scared--as well it should. Mark's unequaled depth and breadth of knowledge, and passion for gracious service, are the perfect counterbalance to my unfettered insanity--and with his efforts we will turn this into a beautiful thing, the likes of which have not yet been seen. There are so very many surprises in store as well to further this madness that will just have to develop, and be made known, in time.

No.

I know of only one person in this entire world who is capable of first finding a cupcake periodic table, and then dissecting its lack of scientific integrity. Ladies and gentleman, allow me to introduce the one, the only...ol ironstomach!

Or maybe when he wasn't ?!?!

Sorry, a flare-up of TMJ kept me from competing. Besides, it's been a long time since I've owned a pair of knee pads.

Honestly, and this needs to be said--and this is coming from someone who has gotten literally tens upon tens of thousands of dollars of not always deserved free publicity from this forum (and please, anyone who has had a bad steak or crappy service from us--some times we really do suck--please say so here)--this topic really brings to light the often unrealistic integrity of the mission that Don has set out for himself and has outrageously and steadfastly maintained even at the expense of friendships and mental health over the course of some five years now. And this integrity has been maintained by every member of this board even with our differences by the sheer force of will behind the guiding principles to which he adheres, just by the fact that anything else would just be so...wrong. I love Yelp! and the real-world voices it provides and I don't really buy the accusations of this article except for the fact that salespeople (unless you're the really, really hot salesgirl with the nose-ring at Anthropologie in Georgetown or you sell roller coasters for a living--that's you Joe--by the way, how cool is that?) are basically scum--whether it's advertising or mortgages or over-hyped stocks or No Child Left Behind test-prep services (hello, Washington Post) or civilian-murdering "clean strike" missiles. But if anyone, or anything, can be credited with elevating the DC dining scene from its Tiberian and RAMW-toadies miasma it is you all right here and this board right here that bears Don's name. And honestly, and this needs to be said--Why the fuck hasn't he been nominated (at least, come on now, fercryingoutloud) for a Beard Award already? I can think of about three awardees off the top of my head that should give up their trophies--if Linda Roth would allow it--in protest, if they had the stones.

Are you sure the "flag" was "stad"?

And gold-ringed peasants still think Wagner is art. It's not. It's "Cats" in German. We would have forgotten about this mid-brow schlager shit already if it wasn't for Bugs Bunny. Now, Bruckner was a bad ass fucker, and Mahler was a soul mauler. And to prove the point, who ever got laid listening to Wagner? Marched into Macht Frei, yes, but laid? No.

"Born sinner, the opposite of a winner. Remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner?" --Christopher Wallace

As long as he isn't wearing any underwear, I say, "Cook away!!!" Everyone is allowed to slum every once in a while. And, umm, Don, I believe the "b" and the "s" are lower case, as was reported in the Washingtonian.

With a lot more coming.

By the way, for all of you who have forgotten, *this* is why we need donrockwell.com.

In large amounts. It is ON!!! I suggest you settle this at Adour's more esteemed next door neighbor, with me as immoderator. Great writer versus great writer, mano a mano. I buy the drinks. Who gets laid determines the winner (sorry guys, it's a chronicle of a victory foretold--apologies to GG Marquez).

They really do listen to suggestions after all! (Comment #4 should explain it all).

Actually, Danielle is doing everything, so I have to lift nary a finger.

I can't wait to anoint myself with Vaseline, don some magical underwear, and pour myself a nice tall, cold glass of this stuff!