Michael Landrum

Padma's appearance on "Watch What Happens Next" manages to redeem all. Now if I can just figure out how she got those scars...

I find that the ladies in the parking lot at Prince's really help to pass the time...and something *that* good doesn't take much time at all.

Barring technical difficulties, we will begin serving sweet potato fries as an option on Monday. Thanks for the feedback. As for our current fries, the first imperative in introducing fries was to offer fries but eliminate the possibility of catastrophic and complete systematic failure--with our level of volume, a very real possibility--much like a rollercoaster must be designed first and foremost not to fly off the rails or have the riders be flung out of the car or get stuck hanging upside down for hours at the top of a loop-de-loop. Our goal beyond that was to produce a light, crisp, greaseless fry which would complement the Hell Burger without overwhelming the diner. I personally believe we have succeeded in meeting these goals and personally think we serve a beautiful, perfectly matched product. Others might have a different wish for how their individual taste or personal expectations be satisfied, which is cool too. At a different venue, under different circumstances, and with a different format, I may very well have different goals for the type of fries I serve and how they should best complement my core product, in which case you all may rest assured that I will toil ceaselessly until those goals are met. Until then, there may just not be too much more to say on the subject

Beginning tonight, the grilled portobello plate is now available again (but still not on the printed menu). Thanks for the feedback.

Actually, it is very useful feedback and a very valid point--something that lets us now that something we are already working on we need to work on a little faster. The truth is, at the old Ray's The Steaks we would serve about 1250 guests a week, out of which 15-20 would order the portobellos. At the new location we serve about 3250 guests a week, but for some reason we were selling only 3-5 orders of portobellos a week. Crazy, huh? If it weren't for the post, and knowing that someone felt strongly enough about being able to have Ray's rejoin his rotation that he registered on this site just to say so, I wouldn't know we had a problem to address. It really does the forum, it's members (new and old), and the participating or frequently mentioned restaurants a great disservice to not have criticism and complaints be more welcome and forth-coming. So, thanks Shannon. Honestly, this is the first I've heard about someone missing the vegetarian dish. We'll be doing something soon to let you come back.

Had a fantastic lunch here the other day. Prices slightly above Ben's Chili Bowl. Silly cheap. Perfect food, just right for lunch (I tried to many things to remember, but it was all great). Crab fritters are still making my mouth water--my new favorite dish! Can't wait to try it for dinner. Bread basket may have dethroned Vidalia's--if not, then neck and neck. I hate fine dining, but the service there really is a treat and makes you forget you are in Washington.

Having acquired, after over 15 years without, a television, I have recently discovered several things: One) The world of fine dining is, on the whole, more pathetic than I had thought. That being said, some of these guys can cook like some serious badass motherfuckers. Two) Based on the differential factor between talent and need, Tom Colecchio is a far greater sell-out than Rocco, and therefore all the sadder. Three) Anthony Bourdain is as lame and embarassing as I thought, if not more so. All that forced, posed authenticity, all that petting zoo populism. Four) Two places I will never go are Atlanta and Orange County. Thanks Bravo!

Additionally, I am told they will be featuring nightly entertainment by this man here, whose golden chestnut has been warming my heart ever since reading of Carmine's opening here in DC. Now that's what I think of when I think about authentic Italian!!!

Reading through the website about the origins of Carmine's, I could not help but be moved--and a bit awed--by the touching tale of one man's mission to pay homage to his family's unique heritage and traditions and to honor the authenticity of their history, as the exemplar of the closeness of identity between an entire culture and one man's family. Hats of to you, Artie Cutler! You truly are doing God's work! And in pasta form, no less. Oh well, there go my plans to open a restaurant, La Tregua, featuring recipes inspired by some of the fantastic, heavenly, unbelievably authentic meals described in the soaring memoirs of the great national patriotic hero of Italy, Primo Levi, first among princes and priests alike indeed. Still in the works, however, is an authentic Ciorba House called Night, Dawn and Day celebrating the extraordinary heritage of the Romanian culture and my ancestry's unique connection to it.

Maybe when, or if, Hell-Burger gets a facility commensurate with its demand I can start serving fries that would be destination-worthy in and of themselves. I look forward to that day even more than you, and I would be pleased to serve you the very first order of those fries. Consider this an invitation--and no, I am not looking for investors... In the meantime, despite the general rule of thumb that "fresh" is better than "frozen" and the conditioned hostility to anything frozen, potatoes that have been frozen produce superior fries to potatoes that have not--except when the method of preparation is "twice-frying." They absorb less fat, brown better and richer, and maintain a meatier and fluffier center. There are many, many high-end chefs who use the freezer as a tool; there are many, many highly-acclaimed dishes from these chefs which depend on being frozen (unbeknownst to the guests, critics, or foodies-at-large) for the very qualities that make them famous; and there are many, many products that are superior in their frozen form, for quality, texture, preparation and presentation.

Joe, I read your query last night, but wanted to wait a day to see whether the world had ended or not. We had a fryer insatlled on Monday and on Tuesday began experimentally serving fries. If I'm not wrong, today is Wednesday. As with everything we do, our fry service will evolve and adapt based on the best product we can possibly serve reliably, consistently and on time. For example, some fries we tested using cast iron dutch ovens as fryers over the past several weeks had a completely different flavor profile and texture using the deep fryer and so we are in the process of re-evaluating and re-testing our product and process. Five things to keep in mind, Joe, while passing judgement: One, we serve about three times the volume of the average Five Guys. Two, Ray's Hell-Burger was intended to be a small, fun, side project which would quietly compliment Ray's The Steaks. Instead, it has become like one of those insane waterslides that you have described earlier--except in my case, the free fall and sense of impending death just hasn't ended--and it has been a full-time occupation over the past 16 months to keep the whole thing from crashing and burning (at a time in my work, I'm sure you can imagine, I don't exactly have a whole lot of free time). Three, the current location of Ray's Hell-Burger is a temporary stop-gap measure necessitated to mitigate the above two points until a more stable, long-term solution is made to happen. At that time, I will certainly have more space and production options. Four, as others have pointed out on Chowhound, we serve a broad public for whom such details may be less important just being able to get fries with their burger already. And, five, as someone who spent six months each in San Sebastian and Biarritz, 12 hours a day, six days a week, washing, peeling, hand-cutting and twice-frying the best fries in the world, I can assure you that the right frozen potato is far superior to a fresh potato when once-frying. Subject to dissent, I know, but that is my experience. As to something to which there is no dissent, on criteria of sheer artistry and quality, the best burgers and the best fries can be found at Palena. Or if not, then at Central. For more discussion on the matter, let's all agree to meet at either place and we can talk the night away. They both even have cocktails, beer and wine. That is, if the world doesn't end by tomorrow.

You know it.

Just in time for holiday gift-giving and party-planning, we at Ray's are pleased to offer custom-order and direct-purchase services on a cost-plus basis for case buys. This is a rare opportunity to avail yourself of Mark Slater's unique access to the finest, rarest and most singular wines in the world, as well as his unparalleled palate, knowledge and advice. Whatever your needs--cellar-buildng, party-planning, gift-giving, personal guzzling--Mark is available for consultations and locating/purchasing services on a custom order basis for pick up at Ray's. Not to mention that his relationships give him access to special buys and wines not generally available or even known at all to the public--not just the expensive Parker-rated stuff. Another reminder for those last minute gifts or just plain old late-night jonesing--we do have an off-premises license for retail sale, so mostly all of the wines on our list are available for individual sale up to midnight at varying but substantial discounts from the list prices. He can be reached at raysretailwine@verizon.net Or if you prefer, I can help you with the cheap, crappy stuff.

There is no difference between the two whatsoever. They are both terms for the exact same thing and can be used interchangeably. If you want to know the full story, the term "Wagyu" was recently invented by the marketing department at Harris Ranch Beef Company since Dan Snyder owns the rights to the name "Kobe Bryant" and has plans to trademark the term "Kobe" to use as a brand, developed especially for him by scientists at Cal Poly, of "under-sized condoms with that big condom swagger" to be marketed to pathetically hopeful teenagers and sold exclusively at Six Flags and Johnny Rockets. Hope that clears things up.

You may want to start in the state of "AA"...

Somehow I ended up as Pretentious and Pedantic when I took the test the first time and Obnoxious and Abrasive the second. Weird.

The fact that Don doesn't quite know where "downtown" is and thinks his iPhone will help him get there explains oh-so-very much.

Tacos? Coming out of The Big Hunt? No doubt a certain Hugh Johnson will be making an appearance there soon.

I suspect that a chef who judges the people he cooks for to such an extent and with such disdain would soon be cooking only for himself. I personally have a bit of the whore in me and love anyone who pays me for what I do. Our motto is: "We love all our guests--some when they arrive, and others when they leave." That being said, genuine enthusiasm--no matter how shallow, immature, misguided or poorly dressed--is greatly cherished, above all else I would say, and is the true barometer of our work.

A quick test I know will prove whether that comment actually applies or not.

Have they started carrying the Mighty Mo at lunch yet?

It's just so heart-warming, the bonding that occurs and the memories evoked by the Japanese Anal Method of sexing chicks, isn't it?

This is the best news all year.

Oh, you're a lawyer? Never mind, it's no big deal then...nothing really shocking for you I'm sure. They'll just claw and peck themselves to death savagely until only one is remaining and cannibalizes the corpses.

Worse. Much worse. Suitable alternate ending to Apocalypse Now bad. And we're not talking about two roosters here, but hundreds. This is not a line of inquiry you want to pursue, Sheldman. I'm talking "Kiss all your loved ones and tell them that you love them out of sheer gratitude, and then forget you ever read this thread" bad. (I should mention that what I have witnessed (v-ani, levadi...) occurs only when a mis-sexed female remains, undetected, in a closed flock of males until sexual maturity).