Michael Landrum

Factual, accurate, perceptive and insightful. I would argue, however, that durability and accessibility, not volume, were the motivating factors in the floor plan adaptations. (Well, that and the fact that East River and Ray's to the Third are essentially nearly identical--by design--save for the numeric quantity of menu variations beyond the core offerings). Other than that, your observations are pretty spot on. However, as the East River team grows in skills and confidence, the menu and other offerings will continue to evolve and grow. Many of the gaps that in 2008 I dearly believed would narrow, even disappear--changes in which I had hoped to play even the smallest of roles as catalyst--have since widened into not just unbreachable gulfs, but into unfathomable chasms. I am surprised, in any case, that East River even matters on this board enough to be discussed. The clear signal has always been that it does not.

So far, we have served on average 1500 diners each week at Ray's to the Third, at a check average of $21 per guest (including beverage). Of those 1500 diners each week, 500 choose to order a steak. Of those 500 diners who choose to order a steak each week, on average 20 diners per week--just under 3 per day--choose (chose) the Brazilian. Meanwhile, at Ray's The Steaks and at Retro Ray's, we may run out of the Brazilian by 8:30 on any given night. So, as with all things Ray's, we invest and direct our resources to where, and how, we can disappoint the fewest. Should any one desire their steak frites to be served with the Brazilian cut, or any cut for that matter, simply call ahead and your requested cut will be waiting (provided, that is, we can tell our restaurants apart enough to find the right one). Beginning tomorrow, if Ray's to the Third is the one I'm thinking of, and not one of the others that even I can't tell apart, and my GPS sends me to the right place, there will be a new cut or two on the menu. But no new beers. (In today's mythology, Sisyphus would be a craft beer drinker who each day after extolling his latest find to the very peak of exquisite and exclusive taste, wakes to find yesterday's elixir discovered by the dreaded masses and therefore rendered deplorable, only to inexorably begin his arduous task of anointment anew). I hope that what you did have was satisfactory for the price and that you were treated civilly, if not well.

Thank you for the opportunity for me to remind readers that we are no longer, repeat, no longer offering free limo service to the Kennedy Center from the Dix Street location. Limo service to the House on Georgia Avenue, with complimentary passes to the Pit, is still available.

I'm pretty sure it's me.

Does this apply to the 1.6 billion residents of the Indian subcontinent as well? Saudis, Israelis, Cypriots? The good people of Novosibersk and Irkutsk? Does it matter on which side of the Bosphorus Bridge someone from Istanbul lives? Is there a way to tell when serving creamed spinach and mashed potatoes will be offensive and/or dangerous?

When Don first harshed me out about 3 or 4 years ago for not having anything of his on the wall or on my website (well, I didn't have one at the time), I told him that I would proudly display a certificate, a la Washingtonian, or a sticker, a la Yelp, Zagat, City Eats, Fearless Critic, etc. etc. etc., but that I couldn't just make something up myself. I also mentioned that since he didn't publish actual reviews (which was the then the case) that there was nothing I could include in any of my literature. At the time, I thought that a bit of promotion of the web-site was crucial to its future and that Don's original proclamations of impossible standards of nobility and selflessness when he started this site and his original vows to never make a penny from this site had painted him into a corner that he would later regret never being able to escape from, and I said so. Let's hope it's not too late to reverse that. I love the whole underground, Banksky-esque, approach being discussed now and I think it could go a long way to making Don into the figure he wants to be and give this site the greater public presence it deserves. At this point, however, it's not clear whether this is meant to shame offending restaurants and scold ignorant diners, or whether it is meant to bring exceptional restaurants to the attention of open-minded diners while also creating a groundswell of awareness to the site--but either way the support evidenced in this thread is validation in and of itself. As an independent chain owner, I would love to support this whole-heartedly, monetarily or other-wise, were it not for the obvious appearance of "pay-for-play". This community is never at a loss for ideas or talent, though, and I am sure that the right idea will be found.

What time is it? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saRt2Vhrvxc

Still got my Nike Boots: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I1QxABdYYc&feature=relmfu

Ave Maria was never sung for a badder ass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPvlrdv3cqk&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4wxxzFwbgY&feature=related Another year, another reason, for the love in each steak.

Tom Sietsema could not possibly be referring to me in the "Tweet" linked above, because if he were he would be: 1) A liar. If he were referring to me, he would surely know that it was his very own colleague, Tim Carman who connected me to AskMen.com where he was then working, and who was responsible for coaxing me into writing the slightly tongue-in-cheek piece to which Don so helpfully linked. And if that were the case, his question would be both deceptive and based on a dishonest, feigned lack of knowledge. And, 2) Abusing the power of his position within the influence-peddling branch of the Kaplan Corporation to collude with Mr. Carman (since I am positive that it would only be through Mr. Carman that Mr. Sietsema would be aware of that three year old piece of satire) and possibly his editor, Joe Yonan, to conduct a personal attack, to settle a score, or to carry out some other personal agenda--something that no professional journalist would ever consider discrediting himself to do. Since neither of the two cases is even remotely possible, Mr. Sietsema absolutely must have been referring to someone else. QED Good Luck and Good Night, Michael Landrum

Sorry, I drive a van with Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon air-brushed on the side.

I have to say, that from the descriptions and pictures in this piece, I am really looking forward to this place opening. Knowing what I do about the construction heart-aches and heart-breaks of a restaurant opening, I really have to applaud Mr. Isabella for the hardships and perseverance he has endured (not to mention the financial penuries no one outside the business can imagine). Even more so, knowing the easy opportunities his status surely must have readily afforded him in NY, Vegas, AC or LA, I think that it is absolutely wonderful that he chose to make DC his home despite all that. From what I see, here is a man building something to last, of real value, and of real meaning, to honor his heritage and vision, in a place he hopes to claim as home, and taking risks along the way that he didn't need to. This is a restaurant that, if done well, I will gladly visit again and again. Here's hoping it will be so. And his performance the second time around on All-Stars, rather than counting against him, did much to show a chef of real heart and courage, and hard-earned humility.

While not perfect (to whit, fries), I must say that I immensely enjoyed my Double Shackburger and Rhubarb concrete today--and I don't say this to annoy Don, although that is an added bonus. To me, this is a perfect and delicious iteration of the classic, traditional-style American burger--and even with the somewhat accurate assessment of a less than fully pronounced beef flavor, I would still argue that in this style burger, the crispy-edged salty goodness and the fact that the melted cheese vies for dominance with the burger patties is EXACTLY as it should be, and what makes it so great. Further, as a great admirer of Danny Meyer, I have to mention two astounding feats at Shake Shack that I can only marvel at: One, the burger presentation, specifically, how they manage to keep the buttery potato roll hinged even while being toasted on the grill (and this coming from someone who knows more than a little bit about coming unhinged) so that the burger opens up with a wide smile with all it's promised good stuff on full display, but that the last few bites are nothing but pure, unadulterated burger, cheese, butter and grease--in short, heaven. [Now if we could just get The Parker Meridien to open here, both to get a Burger Joint, and to make possible some Biggie-style "sweets at the Parker Meridien" (No love making, strictly back breaking...)] And two, the sheer, tight efficiency of design and execution of the operation. Far too many people lately, especially with cupcakes and burgers, equate long lines with popularity and success when that is simply not the case in some notable cases. While on the subject, I really would like to bring up something that has troubled me more and more lately, and that is, when did it stop being okay to like or prefer one burger without having to absolutely HATE another burger--especially with something so basic and so deeply personal when it comes to preferences and with so much of the whole temps perdu, temps retrouve thing going on? Why isn't it alright to just like what you like and leave it at that? And why does there have to be this forced competition where someone who prefers a different style or place becomes a sworn mortal enemy. I'll be perfectly honest, there are pretty much about six things in life that I love beyond anything else: women, music, burgers, ice cream, roller coasters and scotch (blended, and don't even start with me--just go play adult kickball, or do some Civil War re-enactment shit or practice for your next Ba'at'lith competition and then argue about "craft" beer for twelve hours while your home-made Durian bitters age and leave my drinking preferences the eff alone)--and I guarantee you all that there is not a single day that I don't wake up in the morning and immediately start to think about one or all of those things and how and when I can get in on some of that as soon and as often as possible. But the thing is, I love them all, they're all great and they're all different. That only makes me love them and crave them more. That's my day. That's my life. If you opened up my brain that's all you'd see going on. What else is there? I don't care whose they are, I love them. Why not? And why should it matter? Linda's Place, Five Guys (the one in the Navy League has a great owner and staff and I have found even the fries to be consistently great--like in the old days in the old locations), Palena, Central, Tune Inn, Againn (in Rockville, at least, where they do a remarkable job of approaching the awesomeness of a Minetta's Tavern-style burger), Shake Shake, Morton's, Vidalia's they are all great (just not the blatant rip-off artists' burgers--Did you know that Z-Burger's owner opened a Twitter account under the name Ray's Hell Burger and then used it ti twitter about how great Z-Burgers are?). Even the Cheesecake Factory has an awesome burger. And so are a hundred more I can't even think about right now. Oh, a Patty Melt and a frappe at Brigham's (by the way, even though it's not we serve, i gotta say--if it's any good, it's not a milkshake, it's a frappe!). It's whatever you crave that day or whatever you can get your hands on at the time. And if there's a burger you don't particularly care for, so what? Someone else does. Same with women. I want them all. Literally. Why else would it be the case that there is an infinite number of ways that a woman can be beautiful, where there is pretty just one way for men to be attractive. Same with ice cream--What? Only one ice cream is the best and that's the only one you can eat? Not great ice cream? Big deal. That's what fudge and caramel and marshmallow fluff and jimmies and frozen sweetened strawberries in those rectangular cans are for. Same with roller coasters. Are there some that you actually have a bad time on? Even the really bad ones still make you think you're going to die on them. That's fun too. (And yes Joe, I do mean the ones you sell...) Arguing about which is the best burger is about as pointless as arguing about who the baddest ass bad-ass is--Earl "The Pearl" Monroe, Clyde "The Glide" Frazier, or Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain. It doesn't matter--they're all cooler than any or all of us, individually and put together. They can wear full-length leather trench coats and you can't. Or like arguing about who's the cooler "Iceman"--Jerry Butler or George Gervin or Otzi. It just doesn't make sense. (And before anyone says anything about that incomprehensibly stupid movie Top Gun, let me remind you that neither movies nor jet planes existed during the Civil War or in Middle Earth). Anyway, I'm really happy that Shake Shack is here, especially since concretes are the one thing I liked about St. Louis--besides Hadley's Party Center--that was actually from St. Louis, and not from across the river in East St. Louis. And I can't wait for Bobby Flay's place to open up and the Passion Food Group's place, too, just to have more burgers to try, even though nothing can ever fill the gaping void left when Little Tavern went away and left me all alone.

I don't know what the rest of you god-fearing types were expecting today, but I took my chances with Coco, Cocoa, Topaz, Natasha and Sunshine and a couple of bottles of Dom P in the back of the club, and trust me--since Fab Five Freddy told me everyone's high--I found my own rapture for sure. And since it just happened to be Biggie's birthday, what better way to go out than to Get Money. Unless we all deserve One more chance.

Is a MoneyGram or Western Union possible or nearby?

Really? I've always considered them sorta second-tier--you know, compared to all the big fish's. Really curious thing though: The other day I treated myself to one of my favorite Hell-Burgers (I have to limit myself to just an occasional, unfortunately) and the strangest thing happened. The very next day I shat out one of those tiny burgers you get up on the Hill, perfectly formed, wrapper and all. Crazy, no?

That is EXACTLY the soundtrack that I will have playing the next time I have the old Jack Kramer Pro Staff out and the neighbors come up to complain. Dare I remind them how lucky they are that I didn't bring out the T-2000? If you couldn't hit it off of wood, you can't call it tennis. Maybe Jeu d'Paume.

In a better world, Roseanne (or the Cash/Carter estate) would be the ones getting a dollar every time the name "Sandoval" was used.

I was beginning to think no one here remembered...

Wrongly. The term evokes nothing if not a place for simultaneous hermaphrodites to gather for a piercing game of love-darts, as long as they keep their cell phones on vibrate and tucked away inside their Birkin bursa copulatrix-es (where they also keep their tip-change and breath mints). In certain neighborhoods, where the clientele is exclusive enough, they will, instead, stand there with their latest 4G pseudo-Pods on the bar, their ovotestis taking up two bar stools, and admire themselves in the mirror, wishing they could just f*ck themselves instead (so giftedly equipped by nature to do so) and make their nautiloid self-absorbtion complete.

How in god's name is it possible for no one to have yet brought up texting in restaurants...while on a Segway ???

Wait...What??? I'm confused. We don't serve chicken at Ray's. Is there something I'm missing? Does this mean I have to go get a fryer and get some chicken ready for all the people coming in tonight? What we are serving, though, is an incredible, "die-cast steal" of a deal--an AOC Chateau Mouton (Baron Philippe de) Rothschild '08 at $5 a glass or $20 a bottle, but only while supplies last. How even the most critical Mark, Slater or otherwise, was able to pull that off is beyond me. Or maybe I am suffering from an ague, and it's a grave situation. Alert the press, is all I can say.

I would avoid taking this dialogue even further off topic, but the "Criticizing the Critics" thread is locked, and the timing of this article makes it impossible for me not to point out that the Kaplan branch of the Post (although I would argue that the Post is more of a subordinate branch of the Kaplan operations today) has made, silently and with little scrutiny, a sickening amount of profits from co-opting the curricula of inner city schools through No Child Left Behind targeting. This may help explain the financial motives for the entire editorial stance of the Post having shifted to that of a proxy voice for the same for-profit and transfer of wealth forces subverting so much of American life today. (Note to censors: This is one instance where a transfer of a post to a different thread would be appropriate and inoffensive).

Behind the scenes trivia: Don's original line read: "Feel the power of the Don Side" but was later re-dubbed to the more mainstream version heard on the final edit, leading to many fierce arguments over creative freedom and artistic expression--a conflict that was ultimately to lead to Don's walking away from the field forever.