Tom Sietsema's Online Chat

[Jacques Gastreaux]

kazoos would have been a brigher idea. there is nothing quite like a few rounds of camptown racetrack to get a brunch going.

Why does this immediately evoke the opening scene of Blazing Saddles?

[DCMark]

I also found the statement that they sang "God Bless America" as somehow implying a better class of diner very telling. JoeH smells the same rat.

Personally, I only dine with large groups of men who sing La Marseillaise before diner.

[Al Dente]

I also found the statement that they sang "God Bless America" as somehow implying a better class of diner very telling.  JoeH smells the same rat.

Personally, I only dine with large groups of men who sing La Marseillaise before diner.

It wasn't mentioned in the chat, but this group of men actually sang "God Bless America" while impersonating Ethel Merman.

[Sthitch]

I also found the statement that they sang "God Bless America" as somehow implying a better class of diner very telling.  JoeH smells the same rat.

Personally, I only dine with large groups of men who sing La Marseillaise before diner.

Why? My first thought was that they might just be a bunch of old vets. My father's VFW Post does this at the beginning of their meetings.

[Banco]

I also found Joe's comments very perceptive. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to which restaurant was involved? I draw a blank.

[Sthitch]

In the chat she said it was Sam and Harry's.

[The Hersch]

This is too over the top to have happened the way the wife was told it did.

Note that the bulk of what the wife posted was not her second-hand account, but rather an "excerpt" (what, there was more??) from her husband's letter to the manager. At least supposedly. There is something fishy about the story, and I agree that the "clean event" terminology is the clearest indication of its fishiness.

[jm chen]

The other side of the story would be interesting. I have a hard time imagining what it might be. I do wonder if a combination of inaccurate reporting and possibly omitting some unruly diner behavior (anybody drunk?), would help explain it.

I think it's very reasonable to ask them to close the doors to the private room while they're smoking. The no-smoking mistake and the "you don't get appetizers" mistake are also possible errors from a server who hasn't worked the private room before or got incorrect information from the kitchen. If you take away all that, what's left? Having to be prompted for drink orders and again for food orders (while all the gentlemen were out of their seats milling about.) Which is bad, but not cancer-cell-infecting-our-good-time bad.

And again, it points to: 1. the best time to complain is WHILE this is happening to you, and 2. Tom shouldn't be posting this tattletale crap.

[qwertyy]

And again, it points to: 1. the best time to complain is WHILE this is happening to you, and 2. Tom shouldn't be posting this tattletale crap.

Hold on now. While I agree that there's likely another--and intriguing--side to this, I'm not sure that he shouldn't post it. I've mentioned in another thread that I wish he would post more about his own bad experiences, and give a name, because far too often he pulls the awful thing happened "at Big Name Restaurant" nonsense, which helps no one at all. And it never makes it into a review because then he won't go back. (Can anyone name a truly negative review he's published all these years, besides Extra Virgin?

But it's true that it's a wiggly line because submitters have no accoutability. That woman could do PR for the Palm for all we know.

[Waitman]

This waittress is described as what amounts to a dominatrix.  Curiously, they tolerated all of what they claim happened without once approaching a manager.  THEY DIDN'T COMPLAIN TO ANYONE WHILE ALL OF THIS WAS GOING ON.  Rather, they were standing around talking and smoking and, NINETY MINUTES INTO THE DINNER, still hadn't ordered their entrees!  Note that the appetizers were pre-ordered but, according to this, the entrees were not.  Nor were they in their seats, nor did anyone other than the host seem to making an issue out of this.  NINETY MINUTES INTO THE DINNER it would seem that ordering their entrees was not a priority for them. 

But why didn't they complain?  Why did the wife believe that "shouldn't management check on people in a private room and make sure all is well?"

Is this really management's responsibility if no one from that room, 90 minutes into a meal without ordering and with all of the other arrogance the husband claims they experienced from the server, if nobody left the room and asked for a supervisor? 

[Assuming it's true] Blaming the victim, man.

It's management's job to run a good show, not the diner's job to play manger's manager. That's one reason people pay to eat out. They are perfectly withing their rights to decide that either a) the evening is ruined beyond repair and compalining isn't worth the hassle of breaking up the patriotic singalong or complaining isn't going to bring enough of an improvement to justify it.

Dinners rarely get ruined in one dramatic act; diners are generally inclined to accept a couple of screw-ups as honest mistakes. By the time you realize that your server is incompetent/stoned/vicious or just hates you, the evening may well be more than half over and the best strategy to cut your losses. At some point, no amout of free dessert or comped booze is going to redeem the night.

In addition, poor service can be hard to quantify.

"She has a bad attitude."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

(Managee stares at diner and server, wishing to God he was somewhere else)

Also, some of us are just scared of dominatrixes.

On the other hand, I'm sure Sam and Harry's has a side to their story, and I am interested to hear it.

Edited to add that I like sam and Harry's quite a bit and they once gave me the recipe for the horseradish sauce they serve with their cajun prime rib, which endeared me to them even more.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Waitman

[lackadaisi]

(Can anyone name a truly negative review he's published all these years, besides Extra Virgin?

Leopold's

[Jacques Gastreaux]

I sent Sam and Harrys a message with links to the online chat and this discussion letting them know that we would be interested in hearing their side of the story.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Jacques Gastreaux

[Waitman]

I sent Sam and Harrys a message with links to the online chat and this discussion letting them know that we would be interested in hearing their side of the story.

C'mon Jacques -- you know it's an old on-line tradition to bitch, moan and come to judgement without ever getting the facts. You could ruin a good thing.

[jasonc]

Washington, D.C.: Tom, Puhleeze answer my question--will love you forever.

Live in DC but having a night on the town Dec 23 and seeing Wicked at Kennedy Center--very excited. Want to have a fabu dinner prior to the show. Staying in Penn Quarter at Hotel Monaco--should we stay around there for dinner at say, Zola's, or should we venture to dine around KC? Looking for your recommendation. $ not an issue on this evening and we are way open to cuisine. Just nothing too stuffy. Thanks very much!

Has anyone said anything snarky about this one yet? Puhleeze? fabu? "open to cuisine" - what does that even mean? I expect more of you Rockwellians.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Has anyone said anything snarky about this one yet?  Puhleeze?  fabu?  "open to cuisine" - what does that even mean?  I expect more of you Rockwellians.

Most of the entries like this on the Sietsema chat are so far below the level of the average Rockweiler that we just dismiss them out of hand. A lot of times, stuff like that is from someone just trying to see of they can get their question printed.

Edited December 15, 2005 by Jacques Gastreaux

[DonRocks]

Most of the entries like this on the Sietsema chat are so far below the level of the average Rockweiler that we just dismiss them out of hand.  A lot of times, stuff like that is from someone just trying to see of they can get their question printed.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see anything so terribly wrong with that question. "Open to cuisine" sounds like any type of ethnic is okay with the diner, at least that's the way it sounds to me.

Seriously, I'd hate it if a younger diner felt afraid to ask something like that here. Am I being naive?

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Don:

The way this question was worded and the substance of it, just stuck me as someone just trying to get their question printed on the chat. The person had some obvious sophistication, they are locals but are staying at the Monaco. The question "should we dine near the hotel or near the Kennedy Center" could be answered with a simple "it depends on whether or not you want to take a cab to the KC or walk, after your dinner. It almost sounded as if the person also wanted Tom to order their dinner for them and chew it too.

[giant shrimp]

when you are in the penn quarter area, would you really pick 701 over cafe atlantico, per tom's advice? haven't tried the former for many moons, though.

Edited December 15, 2005 by giant shrimp

[Waitman]

when you are in the penn quarter area, would you really pick 701 over cafe atlantico, per tom's advice? haven't tried the former for many moons, though.

I'd go to Rasika.

[Banco]

when you are in the penn quarter area, would you really pick 701 over cafe atlantico, per tom's advice? haven't tried the former for many moons, though.

In terms of overall quality, I think they're much of a muchness. As Tom himself might say, it depends on what you're in the mood for.

[Banco]

I sent Sam and Harrys a message with links to the online chat and this discussion letting them know that we would be interested in hearing their side of the story.

Have you heard anything yet?

[bookluvingbabe]

Where's Tom?????

[hillvalley]

Right here

[dcfoodie]

OK. Who's the wiseguy/girl?

[jm chen]

OK. Who's the wiseguy/girl?

The good news is, Tom thinks you're a "nice young man."

[dcfoodie]

The good news is, Tom thinks you're a "nice young man."

[bilrus]

So here's where it gets weird: we leave the restaurant, and are halfway down the block, when our server comes out of the restaurant and flags us down. In a confrontational way, he asked if we had meant to leave him $2. We explained that yes, we had, because the service was poor. He began berating us, and explaining why in fact his service was good. It was not only uncomfortable, but intimidating....

I've waited tables for years, and received a few bad tips in my day (some deserved, some not) and many great ones. From this experience I've learned two things: 1. NEVER question a tip, because it's the quickest way to be fired, on the spot

Does this remind any fans of the Soprano's of an incident last season where Paulie and Christopher were confronted after stiffing a waiter on his tip? There are worse things than firing.

(I'm re-viewing season five in anticipation of the new season and just saw this again this weekend)

[Banco]

Does this remind any fans of the Soprano's of an incident last season where Paulie and Christopher were confronted after stiffing a waiter on his tip?  There are worse things than firing.

(I'm re-viewing season five in anticipation of the new season and just saw this again this weekend)

Ah, yes! Brilliant!

[Barbara]

I sent Sam and Harrys a message with links to the online chat and this discussion letting them know that we would be interested in hearing their side of the story.

Have you heard anything from them about this?

[DonRocks]

The January 18th chat.

[Bean]

I once have a coworker sitting next to me order a $7 entree and a drink for $1.25. When it is time to pay, he took out a $10 bill and asked for $1 back! Not to mention it was a farewell lunch that all attendences are supposed to "treat" someone.

Can you suggest a better way to approach this kind of "cheap" behavior in the group/business environment?

It seems to me that the only cheap one in this situation is the guy posting the question. Why is he paying so much attention to what everyone orders?

The only approach is to divide it evenly. If you mind shelling out a few extra bucks, dine alone.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Washington, D.C.: Hi Tom. I'm curious as to how you make distinctions among the very top tier of DC restaurants. In particular, you've carved out a unique spot for Restaurant Eve -- 3.5 stars. Since I see Eve raved about in every chat (and elsewhere), I'm curious about what prevented it from joining the 4-star crowd? Thanks!

Tom Sietsema: There were several little (but important) details that kept it from achieving four-star status. One of them was a hard-to-drink cocktail. (It was a tropical fruit drink, impossible to drink because the mango wasn't properly pureed.)

I hope this was a joke.

[Heather]

I loved this:

Love Restaurant Eve - but you are right; they need a better bartender. We love to start a nice meal off with a bombay saffire martini -- the martini was awful.

Um, I think the problem is you're drinking Bombay Sapphire. No wonder it sucked.

[JPW]

People who make multiple reservations for the same time should be tied to the back of a Segway and (slowly) dragged up and down K St.

[jparrott]

I'm done with anyone else telling me how good or how bad a martini is. There's just too much variability in expectations. Plus, 99% this was the pickled martini or something similar, and the person ordering somebody with neither a palate that cares or a sense of humor.

Oh, and Bombay Sapphire tastes like lemonade.

[Psst. Anyone else remember Tanqueray Malacca, which was discontinued for the similarly lemonade-like Tanqueray 10? I have a few sources sussed out.]

[Bean]

It's a shame because I love the bartender there!

Lemon laurel, pickled martini... they have great drinks. How can someone who muddles the fruit for your cocktail screw up a gin martini? It seems the Sietsema chat is for people who are impossible to please.

[RaisaB]

I hope this was a joke.

Nope, I don't think it was a joke. My blood boiled when I saw that. The funny part is the person saw nothing wrong with what he did!

[jcc]

With gift certificates, it certainly wouldn't hurt to let the receptionist and server know that you'll be using one. As long as it hasn't expired, I don't think you should have any problem.

Can someone help me out with this? I don't see why your method of payment should be discussed up front.

[Jacques Gastreaux]

Can someone help me out with this?  I don't see why your method of payment should be discussed up front.

I think it might have something to do with possible expiration of the gift certificate. I can imagine some embarrassment might occur if the certificate is handed in as payment when the check comes and it turns out to be an expired certificate. (I think the subject of expired certificates might be discussed on another thread).

Edited January 18, 2006 by Jacques Gastreaux

[Waitman]

Can someone help me out with this?  I don't see why your method of payment should be discussed up front.

Sometimes checks are rung differently if there's a gift certificate involved. It can make the server's life easier on occasion, and smooth the checkout process. Most important (imho) gift certificates are so often loaded with fine print, restrictions, expiration dates etc. that it's best just to get it "approved" up front, so that any dificulties and legal interpretations can be settled before dining.

[Sthitch]

[Psst.  Anyone else remember Tanqueray Malacca, which was discontinued for the similarly lemonade-like Tanqueray 10?  I have a few sources sussed out.]

It was/is the only Gin I like. Fortunately, I still have 1/2 a bottle left, and since my wife is an 'X' drinker she doesn't touch my stash. If you can score me another bottle, I will be eternally grateful (and I am happy to pay a premium).

[PollyG]

I hope this was a joke.

It may not have been. We had a mango drink problem at Neisha Thai in Tysons once--the mango was pureed alright, but so was some of the pit! Mmm, crunchy chunks in my straw. Lots of 'em.

Edited January 18, 2006 by PollyG

[DCMark]

Today's Chat

'Paranoia will destroy ya'

Re: W. Domku: Tom,

Just out of curiousity, does a restaurant's location ever influence your review? I ask because Domku, while a great place, is in a slightly sketchy part of Petworth. Do you ever think, "Hmm, I wouldn't tell my mom to park on this street after dark," for example?

[Heather]

WTF?

And, not to reignite the debate over appopriate treatment of birthdays, but they didn't do anything to acknowledge ours. I think a candle would be a simple solution for restaurants that don't intend to comp anything.

You know, did they ask that the birthday be acknowledged? I would rather not have the staff make a big deal out of it. And what the hell is this about being comped something just because it's your birthday?

[Sthitch]

WTF?

And, not to reignite the debate over appopriate treatment of birthdays, but they didn't do anything to acknowledge ours. I think a candle would be a simple solution for restaurants that don't intend to comp anything.

You know, did they ask that the birthday be acknowledged? I would rather not have the staff make a big deal out of it. And what the hell is this about being comped something just because it's your birthday?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

My wife has made it clear that if a cake ever arrives at our table with a candle in it, the divorce papers will be served to me in the hospital.

[Principia]

WTF?

And what the hell is this about being comped something just because it's your birthday?

I think this expectation may be why so many restaurants have invented things similar to Baskin-Robbins' Birthday Club... you give 'em your data, they send you some kind of freebie coupon around your birthday, and then you either use it or don't. I've never even imagined that I was entitled to a freebie simply by dint of it being my birthday. Every day is someone's birthday, for heaven's sake.

And, like Sthitch's wife, I am completely against the whole restaurant-birthday-hoopla scenario. But then again, I also have a permanent moratorium on the purchase of cut flowers, and I have no expectations of Valentine's Day other than to have pizza in some form during the day.

Edited January 25, 2006 by Principia

[qwertyy]

I liked the way 1789 did it: I was there with my mom, and when our waiter asked if we were celebrating a special occasion, we said that is was "sort of" a birthday dinner because I couldn't see her the month before on hers and she couldn't see me a month later on mine. With our desserts came a card for each of us with happy birthday wishes from the staff. Nice. I'm sure they'd have done more had we asked, but as a baseline gesture, I think it was perfect.

[Stretch]

I think restaurants should do more to recognize third dates.

"Is tonight a special occasion, sir?"

"It will be in about 25 minutes."

"Ah, in that case the oysters were free."

[Heather]

I think this expectation may be why so many restaurants have invented things similar to Baskin-Robbins' Birthday Club... you give 'em your data, they send you some kind of freebie coupon around your birthday, and then you either use it or don't.

Well, yes, at Chili's or some such place of course you would expect the free crummy ice cream sundae and the clapping, singing waitstaff. And we look forward every year to taking the kids to IHOP for their free chocolate chip pancakes. But not at a place like Komi.

I broke up with a guy once for arranging a birthday surprise at a restaurant. He had been warned not to, so there was no excuse.

And agreed with Tom S. that Petworth is hardly a crack infested ghetto.

[Spiral Stairs]

To me, recognition of a birthday or other special occasion is not a question of obligation -- there is clearly no obligation on the restaurant's part to recognize such things. It is a matter of good business practice. A card, or a little bag of coffee, or some candy, or a scoop of ice cream, or a visit from the chef: All of things cost little or nothing, but will generate goodwill that will likely spread from the benefacted customers to their friends and family (and message board mates).

If I'm not offered one of those things on a special occasion that the restaurant has been made aware of, I don't think the restaurant has failed to satisfy an obligation. I would certainly never ask for anything special. (And I usually don't even tell anyone of the occasion.) But, when they do know but don't do anything, I think the restaurant has missed a cheap chance to build loyalty and spread a good reputation by word-of-mouth.