Tom Sietsema's Online Chat

[kirite]

Was there a chat today? I can't find it. I can't even find the chat from last week. Wapo > me.

There was a chat today. Go to the middle of page and look on the right for "discussions." It should be there.

[SeanMike]

Yes!

http://live.washingtonpost.com/ask-tom-sietsema-03-16-11.html

If you don't see the WaPo chat you want, scroll down to "Featured Discussions" then click on "Full Schedule".

It does follow up on the Palena bit.

[Ericandblueboy]

Thanks for the link!

[response from Palena] We would NEVER turn down a party of 3 in order to maximize our seating. Mr. Rosenbaum wanted a reservation at a time that we simply do not offer, and was turned down not because it would leave an empty seat, but simply because there was no reservation available at his ideal time. He was offered other times but did not accept our offer.

Demand for reservations has been quite high, with an extensive waiting list every night. Our Dining Room has two seatings on Friday and Saturday so that we can meet this demand. We have an intimate dining room with only twelve tables, so there's only so much we can do to accommodate people who insist on dining at 7:30.

As an aside, I plea with your readers to ask for a manager when a situation that appears unusual arises. All of this could have been avoided if the gentleman simply asked to speak to me and perhaps we could have reached an understanding. Restaurants are intensely complicated businesses, and sometimes policies can come across as rude or discriminatory towards you, but I assure you that in our case that is never the intention.

I hope that Mr. Rosenbaum understands this after our conversation, and I hope that one day he will have the opportunity to join us."

[Tom] Problem solved? Earlier today, I got this message from Mr. Rosenbaum:

Q. PALENA

A few hours after last week's chat I received a call from Sean at Palena. He was angry that he would not be able to correct my account for a week about Palena's policy on seating parties of three. He said that Palena is small so it does not seat anyone at 7, 7:30 or 8. It needs two and a half hours to serve so has two seatings - one very early and one very late, at least for me. I have no problem with this policy, but it certainly was not communicated properly by the reservationist and is not noted on the restaurant's web site. When my wife called a week prior to the required "month before date" she asked if we could reserve at 7 or 7:30 if we called back and was answered in the affirmative. When I called a week later I was told no tables for three were given at those times. Especially since Palena does not allow reservations through Open Table, at the very least it needs to train its reservationists better. Too bad we had this experience because the food at Palena and its cafe is excellent. But given the time restrictions for dining in the Restaurant, I guess we will need to be content with the Cafe.

So Palena does take reservation for a table of 3 and I don't think anyone at Palena was "angry."

[RWBooneJr]

Did anybody else think that maybe they could do a better job and not take so long if they staggered their tables? Just a thought.

[Waitman]

Did anybody else think that maybe they could do a better job and not take so long if they staggered their tables? Just a thought.

In these situations, I tend to yield to the judgment of people who've been trying to deal with the situation for a decade or so.

The heart of the problem -- as I think Sietsema mentioned -- is that everybody wants to eat at 7:30 or 8, which means filling tables at 10:00 or 10:30 in a Wednesday night in Washington DC which isn't going to happen.

I tend to find people too inflexible to eat at 6:30 or 8:30 -- as Mr. R apparently is -- tiresome.

On the other hand, I have friends who've experienced similar attitude/communications problems with Palena's FOH, so a pox on them, as well.

[Ericandblueboy]

Help Out a Pregnant Foodie

My husband and I are expecting our first child this summer, and we have a big sonogram coming up next Friday at 3 PM (This is the one where we'll find out the sex, among other details of, we hope, healthy development). Our doctor's office is near Georgetown, and we'd like to take the opportunity to have a nice, early dinner to celebrate and marvel at our forthcoming son or daughter. Thing is, we never go to Georgetown. And, pregnancy has rendered my otherwise wide-ranging dietary habits vegetarian, which we're not used to having to accommodate. Suggestions? We both love wine, and I will indulge in a single glass, if that helps narrow the field.

A.Tom Sietsema :

I'm really fond of the cozy Bistrot Lepic up on Wisconsin Ave. NW. The room is sunny in yellow and the French menu has sufficient to satisfy the non-meat eater: Provencal vegetable soup, a terrine of goat cheese and beets, a fricasse of wild mushrooms and on.

Never heard of this one before. My wife avoided eating raw protein while she was prego but that was about it. Is going vegetarian being recommended by doctors these days?

[DonRocks]

Is going vegetarian being recommended by doctors these days?

Fuck it if it is; people have been having healthy children and eating meat while pregnant for 50,000 years. Want to deny a pregnant female meat? Tell that to a hungry lion.

And in France, which has (used to have?) the world's second longest life expectancy behind Japan, pregnant women used to (and probably still do) drink wine in moderation, and in Japan, I suspect they ate (or eat) plenty of raw fish.

Do not ever tell a pregnant woman she can't have her morning cup of coffee unless you want to pay a dear price in terms of eardrum rupture.

How about not gaining 50 pounds and exercising on a daily basis? That would be my advice.

[DCA]

Is going vegetarian being recommended by doctors these days?

No - but I can completely sympathize with the pregnant women asking the question. When you're pregnant (especially in the early stages), tastes and tolerances can change radically. I'm usually an "eat anything" kind of person, but when I was pregnant, I couldn't even stand the smell of meat for the first 12 weeks. Thank goodness that everything snapped back to normal at week 13!

[lmnop]

No - but I can completely sympathize with the pregnant women asking the question. When you're pregnant (especially in the early stages), tastes and tolerances can change radically. I'm usually an "eat anything" kind of person, but when I was pregnant, I couldn't even stand the smell of meat for the first 12 weeks. Thank goodness that everything snapped back to normal at week 13!

Same here. I'm assuming that's what the chatter meant too. I'm pescatarian and usually love fish and seafood, but now the smell completely turns my stomach and I can't even look at it when my husband eats it. He had calamari one night and I had to leave the table. I also usually love the smell when my husband cooks on the grill, but now it smells horrible to me. Thank goodness week 13 is next week! Fingers crossed I'll be able to to eat in restaurants again soon!

[Sundae in the Park]

Same here. I'm assuming that's what the chatter meant too. I'm pescatarian and usually love fish and seafood, but now the smell completely turns my stomach and I can't even look at it when my husband eats it. He had calamari one night and I had to leave the table. I also usually love the smell when my husband cooks on the grill, but now it smells horrible to me. Thank goodness week 13 is next week! Fingers crossed I'll be able to to eat in restaurants again soon!

Yep, I thought so too. Since she's willing to drink a glass of wine in public while pregnant, with all its attendant judgment, I wouldn't think she's choosing to be vegetarian for the duration out of anything but necessity.

[Pete]

Never heard of this one before. My wife avoided eating raw protein while she was prego but that was about it. Is going vegetarian being recommended by doctors these days?

While my wife avoided raw proteins (except for the omakase at Sushi-ko on the day she happened to find out she was pregnant) and deli meat, my wife's doctor told her that pretty much everything is OK in moderation and so far our 13 day old little girl seems healthy and normal. I'm guessing the vegetarian question has more to do with tolerance to tastes/smells at this early stage of pregnancy.

[DaRiv18]

Seitsema's 4/6/2011 chat on Medium Rare.

The challenge, of course, is to nail the dish or the idea every single meal for every single customer and hope that there are sufficient numbers of people who want to eat the restaurant's one or two items on a regular basis.

As much as I dig the philosophy of Medium Rare, I'm not sure I'm going to be hankering regularly for steak frites, or if I do, that I won't want other than a salad for my starter. I like more variety than Medium Rare offers.

Seitsema now regularly lobs unfair comments in many of his columns, but this one crosses a new line. The job of a critic is to evaluate the standards of the service, menu and atmosphere. Regarding the 2nd sentence above, let's keep personal bias out of it. I, for one, think there should be many more restaurants that employ the highly specialized menu model. I don't think anyone, including the owners, has made the claim that Medium Rare offers everything for everyone.

When auditors review the financial statements of a publicly traded company, they do not take the opportunity to opine as to how the company could be run better. No. They bury themselves in the processes of the company, and ultimately opine as to whether the financial statements "present fairly" what is going on at the company, so that investors can be better informed.

As to his first sentence above, isn't that the concern of every restaurant?? Not sure where he is going with that. If he is singling out Medium Rare, he is being unfair.

Not happy that Seitsema is trashing a perfectly legitimate business model.

[ChiantiandFava]

I think Tom does a great job personifying the majority of DC diners--they don't like to think much. Sietsma brushes aside Medium Rare because he can't see himself eating steak frites every day. What an insight, what specialized knowledge you have.. Perhaps you could have delved into the questions raised by the philosophy you "dig"? Shouldn't restaurants have focused menus? At what point is the aperture narrowed beyond the eye of repeat customers? How lazy can a critic be before an angry mob begins lobbying for targeted cannibalism? Uhh...what?

[Pat]

Seitsema's 4/6/2011 chat on Medium Rare.

Seitsema now regularly lobs unfair comments in many of his columns, but this one crosses a new line. The job of a critic is to evaluate the standards of the service, menu and atmosphere. Regarding the 2nd sentence above, let's keep personal bias out of it. I, for one, think there should be many more restaurants that employ the highly specialized menu model. I don't think anyone, including the owners, has made the claim that Medium Rare offers everything for everyone.

When auditors review the financial statements of a publicly traded company, they do not take the opportunity to opine as to how the company could be run better. No. They bury themselves in the processes of the company, and ultimately opine as to whether the financial statements "present fairly" what is going on at the company, so that investors can be better informed.

As to his first sentence above, isn't that the concern of every restaurant?? Not sure where he is going with that. If he is singling out Medium Rare, he is being unfair.

Not happy that Seitsema is trashing a perfectly legitimate business model.

I don't consider what he says on his chat be to be comparable to a review. That is his personal opinion. He hasn't written a full review yet, just one of those "First Bite" pieces. I'll withhold judgment until he has paid enough visits to write a comprehensive review.

[bookluvingbabe]

Seitsema's 4/6/2011 chat on Medium Rare.

Seitsema now regularly lobs unfair comments in many of his columns, but this one crosses a new line. The job of a critic is to evaluate the standards of the service, menu and atmosphere. Regarding the 2nd sentence above, let's keep personal bias out of it. I, for one, think there should be many more restaurants that employ the highly specialized menu model. I don't think anyone, including the owners, has made the claim that Medium Rare offers everything for everyone.

When auditors review the financial statements of a publicly traded company, they do not take the opportunity to opine as to how the company could be run better. No. They bury themselves in the processes of the company, and ultimately opine as to whether the financial statements "present fairly" what is going on at the company, so that investors can be better informed.

As to his first sentence above, isn't that the concern of every restaurant?? Not sure where he is going with that. If he is singling out Medium Rare, he is being unfair.

Not happy that Seitsema is trashing a perfectly legitimate business model.

The auditors who audit the non-profit I work for regularly ask questions about things that could be done better and make recommendations that would improve operations.

I can't see myself eating at Medium Rare because they have one salad and after 41 years of trying, I accept that I'm never going to like mustard. If there was another salad option, I might try it.

I'm skeptical of it as a business model because the market for no choices at all seems pretty narrow. I don't have a problem with Tom sharing his opinion on the business model. He has commented on other models and price points and the market place before.

[pizza man]

I absolutely love this business model. I haven't been, but it has a lot of integrity. Do one thing, and do it well, and K.I.S.S.

[kirite]

I absolutely love this business model. I haven't been, but it has a lot of integrity. Do one thing, and do it well, and K.I.S.S.

Returning to the food and away from business models and accounting, Tom also wrote that his steak was overcooked.

[DaRiv18]

Tom also wrote that his steak was overcooked.

That's a legitimate complaint. Not personally liking a particular taste profile is a legitimate complaint.

I regret that I resorted to auditing to make a parallel here, obviously it missed its mark for some. Bottom line: Medium Rare offers a legit option to DC diners, in my opinion. If I read Seitsema correctly, Medium Rare's concept is a poor one, at least from a business perspective. If I read Seitsema's subtext correctly (after all, the reader's main question was "Why doesn't DC have more concepts like this?"), the concept applied to any restaurant venture would still be a poor one. Just seems incredibly dismissive to me.

[deangold]

That's a legitimate complaint. Not personally liking a particular taste profile is a legitimate complaint.

I regret that I resorted to auditing to make a parallel here, obviously it missed its mark for some. Bottom line: Medium Rare offers a legit option to DC diners, in my opinion. If I read Seitsema correctly, Medium Rare's concept is a poor one, at least from a business perspective. If I read Seitsema's subtext correctly (after all, the reader's main question was "Why doesn't DC have more concepts like this?"), the concept applied to any restaurant venture would still be a poor one. Just seems incredibly dismissive to me.

As much as I dig the philosophy of Medium Rare, I'm not sure I'm going to be hankering regularly for steak frites, or if I do, that I won't want other than a salad for my starter. I like more variety than Medium Rare offers.

What Mr. S wrote is that HE doesn't like the concept. No more, no less.

[Ericandblueboy]

Q.

WHY NO DECENT RESTAURANTS IN SPRINGFIELD?

Hi Tom, Why do you think there's nothing in the Springfield area other than Mike's American Grill? People here have good incomes, some of it even disposable! But I always have to go to Old Town Alexandria, Arlington or DC for a good meal.

– April 05, 2011 11:53 PM Permalink

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

GOOD question! I don't have an answer for you, but I *do* have an eatery tip out your way: El Sabor Boliviano (the former Village Chicken) on Backlick Road. The strapping soups and shredded fried beef are particular draws on the Bolivian menu.

I thought this would rile up a certain lover of middle eastern raw beef. Not only does the chatter poo poo the restaurants in Springfield, he cites a GAR joint as the only decent restaurant. Have at it Mr. Ground Beef Man.

[DonRocks]

I thought this would rile up a certain lover of middle eastern raw beef. Not only does the chatter poo poo the restaurants in Springfield, he cites a GAR joint as the only decent restaurant. Have at it Mr. Ground Beef Man.

There's a hidden irony here that I'm probably the only person in the world to pick up on.

The question immediately before this said:

Q.

EL PASO

Tom, I'm going to El Paso in a couple of weeks and wanted to ask other chatters about their taqueria recommendations out there. Thanks!

– April 06, 2011 9:43 AM Permalink

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

Never been. El Paso, anyone?

– April 06, 2011 11:06 AM

And a very trusted Mexican friend (who works as a GM in the restaurant business) tells me that El Paso (the Mexican restaurant in Springfield, not the city in Texas) may have the best authentic Mexican food in NoVa (he raves about the Menudo). Obviously there's no real "point" to make here other than that it was an incredible coincidence.

[kirite]

There's a hidden irony here that I'm probably the only person in the world to pick up on.

He canceled tomorrow's chat. No doubt on deadline for his Spring Dining Guide, or perhaps he just couldn't face all of the hostile responses to his Medium Rare First Take. -)

[Ericandblueboy]

Q.Servers addressing patrons

Just a minor gripe about how restaurant servers address their customers. When my wife and I eat out, most of the time servers refer to us as "you guys"... as in "would you guys like an appetizer." Addressing a table of young men that way is OK, however it might be better to address of table of older men as "gentlemen." A table of women might be best addressed as "you ladies." When the table consists of a mixture of people, I would suggest that the address be "you folks," a warm greeting that can actually be used any time.

A.Tom Sietsema :

Not a week goes by that I don't get a variation of your complaint. Waiters, PUH-LEEZE refrain from saying "you guys" when there are females present. The phrase rubs a lot of people -- men as well as women! -- the wrong way.

My pet peeve of late is when I thank a server for something and he or she responds with "No problem."

Legit complaint or way too much whining? I like the following response:

Q.Servers can't win

But what are they supposed to do when that table of "older men" complains that "gentlemen" makes them feel old? and the generation of women who declared "ladies" a sexist diminutive are now those "older" women, so that's not a safe bet, either. In casual usage, "you guys" has been unisex since the 1970s.

[monavano]

Legit complaint or way too much whining? I like the following response:

It's regional and I think "guys" is unisex. Being from Philly, I heard it a lot, along with 'yiz, as in "Are yiz ready to order?". In Pittsburgh the question would use "yins", in the South, "y'all".

Also, being from Philly, I heard "hon" a lot. I'm used to it and think nothing of it, but some women would get their dander up.

[Banco]

I hate folks.

[ktmoomau]

When I was a hostess you get so tired of saying the same exact phrase all the time and would try to change it up, but it was always hard and I would go back to my stand fretting over having just saying something stupid like you guys to a bunch of women or something. I know that dinner out is a much bigger deal to some people than to me in terms of service because I eat out fairly frequently, and try to be fairly easy going, but I think people need to realize sometimes things just blurt out and you go back kicking yourself for saying them. You don't want to sound like a robot. I am perfectly fine with hon, you's, you, young lady, ma'am, you guys, ladies, miss, just so long as it isn't offensive. And it all depends if you have a thick Southern drawl and you say "You folks" or "Y'all" I will totally be fine with it. I mean really it's just a greeting not the end of my life...

[dcandohio]

When I was a hostess you get so tired of saying the same exact phrase all the time and would try to change it up, but it was always hard and I would go back to my stand fretting over having just saying something stupid like you guys to a bunch of women or something. I know that dinner out is a much bigger deal to some people than to me in terms of service because I eat out fairly frequently, and try to be fairly easy going, but I think people need to realize sometimes things just blurt out and you go back kicking yourself for saying them. You don't want to sound like a robot. I am perfectly fine with hon, you's, you, young lady, ma'am, you guys, ladies, miss, just so long as it isn't offensive. And it all depends if you have a thick Southern drawl and you say "You folks" or "Y'all" I will totally be fine with it. I mean really it's just a greeting not the end of my life...

Agree on all points. In the South, you will be called honey, sweetie, sugar and/or darling. It's regional, and I find it charming.

One thing that I detest, though, is when the server refers to two or more women dining together as "girls," as in, "Would you girls like something to drink?" I get that far too frequently, I've also been called "young lady," which is ridiculous, since I haven't been young by any metric for a very, very long time. If servers thinksthey are flattering by using "girls" or "young ladies" to address women "of a certain age," they are just wrong.

[jparrott]

I just call everybody "baby."

[ktmoomau]

I just call everybody "baby."

Love it!

[Ericandblueboy]

Tipping on carry out

I think I am a good "tipper" when eating in a restaurant but have always wondered, what's a proper tip for carry out? Thanks

A.Tom Sietsema :

I get this question all the time and I think the answer depends in part on what and how much you order. Two or three bucksfor a $15 or $20 take-out meal from a neighborhood place sounds right to me. Than again, I'm a former waiter.

For those of you who say you don't tip on carry-out orders, bear in mind that someone has to take down your order, give it to the kitchen with any special requests, make sure you have the utensils you need and your order is complete and finally, ring it up. So what might sound like self-service to the customer actually involves someone else's labor.

Tip tip

Your line of reasoning for tipping on carryout applies equally to a place like McDonalds, Starbucks, or Popeye's, too. Do you tip at these places? I may tip a few dollars on carryout if it is primarily a sit-down restaurant, not a carryout establishment.

A.Tom Sietsema :

I periodically tip $5 to my favorite baristas at Starbucks and guess who gets his double espresso quickly even when there's a long line of java junkies in front of him? Definitely worth the outlay.

Tipping on Take Out

I wouldn't dream of not leaving a couple of bucks for a take-out order! Who are these cheap people? If you can afford to get take-out, you can leave a crummy $2 tip for the kitchen and staff. Sheesh.

A.Tom Sietsema :

You and I agree.

I fail to see much difference between someone who works at McDonald's vs. someone who assembles take-out orders at a restaurant but in practice I don't tip at fast food restaurants but I do tip when I get take-out from a restaurant, but not 15% like Tom. As for the last chatter - what a [fill in the blank].

[Pat]

I fail to see much difference between someone who works at McDonald's vs. someone who assembles take-out orders at a restaurant but in practice I don't tip at fast food restaurants but I do tip when I get take-out from a restaurant, but not 15% like Tom. As for the last chatter - what a [fill in the blank].

One difference is that McDonald's employees get paid minimum wage. Restaurant servers' base pay is much less.

[Ericandblueboy]

One difference is that McDonald's employees get paid minimum wage. Restaurant servers' base pay is much less.

Most take-out orders aren't assembled by servers in my experience. At a pizza joint, such as Lost Dog or Pie-Tanza, there's a take-out counter staffed with kids who are presumably paid a competitive wage. At Chinese joints, it's usually the owner/host/phone operator that assembles the take-out order. Nevertheless, from a client's point of view, one shouldn't have to discern the job description of the order fulfiller to determine whether one ought to tip. I'm not entirely sure why I'm inconsistent when it comes to tipping on take-outs. From a needs perspective, I probably should tip the employees at fast food joints (who tend to be minorities with little upward mobility) and not so much the kids who want to earn enough money to buy designer clothing or weed.

[kirite]

Most take-out orders aren't assembled by servers in my experience. At a pizza joint, such as Lost Dog or Pie-Tanza, there's a take-out counter staffed with kids who are presumably paid a competitive wage. At Chinese joints, it's usually the owner/host/phone operator that assembles the take-out order. Nevertheless, from a client's point of view, one shouldn't have to discern the job description of the order fulfiller to determine whether one ought to tip. I'm not entirely sure why I'm inconsistent when it comes to tipping on take-outs. From a needs perspective, I probably should tip the employees at fast food joints (who tend to be minorities with little upward mobility) and not so much the kids who want to earn enough money to buy designer clothing or weed.

I have a feeling that Sietsema is growing weary and that the WP has quietly begun to "audition" Justin Rude and Tim Carman as his successor.

[Waitman]

I have a feeling that Sietsema is growing weary and that the WP has quietly begun to "audition" Justin Rude and Tim Carman as his successor.

Based on....?

[kirite]

Based on....?

His rather ambiguous answers to chatters' questions about his plans, and his complaints about meeting deadlines and churning out the dining guides.

[qwertyy]

His rather ambiguous answers to chatters' questions about his plans, and his complaints about meeting deadlines and churning out the dining guides.

He's been complaining about deadlines and workload on that chat forever. I don't think that's changed, nor has it become less annoying. (After a few months of complaining about my job, my friends eventually said, "Quit or stay, but just stop whining." I appreciate that.)

[Ericandblueboy]

He's been complaining about deadlines and workload on that chat forever. I don't think that's changed, nor has it become less annoying.

Seriously, what the hell does he have to do? How many pieces does he write a week? I would think he's got one of the cushiest jobs at the paper....stop whinging already.

[Tujague]

Seriously, what the hell does he have to do? How many pieces does he write a week? I would think he's got one of the cushiest jobs at the paper....stop whinging already.

I'll agree that his whininess can be annoying, but I'd be loath to call someone else's job "cushy" when I've never had to perform it before. Thinking you know what someone else's job entails and telling them how to do it or what they're not doing right or enough of (which is often what prompts his whines) is equally annoying. Truth be told, he's a lot less defensive or brittle than many other food writers I've encountered. I know from experience that writing under deadline can be pretty stressful, particularly in a field that is at once both somewhat narrowly defined and yet requires a broad range of knowledge (and with an audience that has more than its own fair share of whiners!). It's a little like thinking that a pastor only has to work on Sunday mornings.

[zoramargolis]

I'll agree that his whininess can be annoying, but I'd be loath to call someone else's job "cushy" when I've never had to perform it before. Thinking you know what someone else's job entails and telling them how to do it or what they're not doing right or enough of (which is often what prompts his whines) is equally annoying. Truth be told, he's a lot less defensive or brittle than many other food writers I've encountered. I know from experience that writing under deadline can be pretty stressful, particularly in a field that is at once both somewhat narrowly defined and yet requires a broad range of knowledge (and with an audience that has more than its own fair share of whiners!). It's a little like thinking that a pastor only has to work on Sunday mornings.

It's a job that can be hard on the body. I think that both Mimi Sheraton and Phyllis Richman stepped down from their critic positions because all the restaurant meals were causing major health issues. I know that Mimi Sheraton lost a LOT of weight after she stopped reviewing restaurants for the NY Times. If Sietsema is able to maintain a normal weight, it's a testament to his self-discipline and willingness to put in plenty of time exercising.

[monavano]

It's a job that can be hard on the body. I think that both Mimi Sheraton and Phyllis Richman stepped down from their critic positions because all the restaurant meals were causing major health issues. I know that Mimi Sheraton lost a LOT of weight after she stopped reviewing restaurants for the NY Times. If Sietsema is able to maintain a normal weight, it's a testament to his self-discipline and willingness to put in plenty of time exercising.

Having to eat for a living would suck all the joy out for me. Just having a food blog makes food just a bit burdensome and is not good for the waistline!

[Ericandblueboy]

WAIT STAFF INTERUPTING

What to you say to wait staff when they walk up to your table and interrupt their clients? Three times at a luncheon two weeks ago at a new place in Tyson's 3 different wait staff types interrupted delicate/distressing/important conversations with some variation of a perky "So how is everything guys?" (to a table of four middle aged women). This isn't the first time or first place this has happened and it drives me crazy!!!

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

In hindsight, you could have avoided the problem altogether by alerting the manager on duty that you'd be engaged in an important business conversation and didn't want to be bothered beyond ordering and getting the check.

Delicate/distressing/important conversation? Sounds like gossip to me. I'm sorry that the wait staff had to wait on these 4 housewives wannabes. Sounds like they need mind-reading waiters

Q.

RE: WAIT STAFF INTERRUPTING

Sorry, but if you have conversation that is that delicate/distressing/important, then a meal at someone's private home would have more appropriate. The wait staff were doing their job.

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

I disagree. You seriously expect a business meeting to be conducted in one of the participant's homes? There may be a variety of reasons a restaurant is the only option: it's noon, someone has a flight to catch, whatever.

The point here is, servers need to "read" their tables and different tables have different requirements.

The OP never said it was a business meeting, but Tom apparently thinks all wait staff need to learn how to read minds.

CONVERSATION INTERRUPTERS

Tom, I disagree with you. I am not suggesting that private conversations ought not be held in restaurants, but simple good manners would only require a quick, simple response of "We are fine, thank you." If that simple act of good manners dusrupts your conversation flow, then you really ought to be having the conversation in private or else yopu are too self-absorbed.

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

Don't forget; the group was interrupted three times.

Q.

INTERRUPTING SERVERS

I am surprised by the responses you have received. It's never a good idea for a server to interrupt diners, especially if it's just for a quick "how are things." If the server needs to go to the table, wait for a lull in the conversation before approaching. As a lawyer, I can say that the vast majority of my lunches out are working lunches, and if I am interrupted by servers while meeting with clients, it's pretty easy to find another restaurant in DC that will allow me to have a conversation at the table without interruption.

A.

TOM SIETSEMA :

Well said!

I think this dude needs to have lunch at Archibald's.

[Waitman]

Delicate/distressing/important conversation? Sounds like gossip to me. I'm sorry that the wait staff had to wait on these 4 housewives wannabes. Sounds like they need mind-reading waiters

Actual, the poster's request was entirely reasonable and any decent server knows how to drift by the table, get the "it's all good" look from the host(ess) and disappear into the ether without being a pain in the ass. Similarly, when actual contact is necessary, they know to wait for a break in the conversation (which will come in a few seconds, people know they need to hear the specials, order drinks, chose a meal, etc), rather than butting in. Waiters who interrupt or over-share are a curse of today's dining scene.

There should be no need to pre-arrange with the management not to be subject to trivial interruptions at inappropriate times.

[Pat]

Actual, the poster's request was entirely reasonable and any decent server knows how to drift by the table, get the "it's all good" look from the host(ess) and disappear into the ether without being a pain in the ass. Similarly, when actual contact is necessary, the know to wait for a break in the conversation (which will come in a few seconds, people know they need to hear the specials, order drinks, close a meal, etc), rather than butting in. Waiters who interrupt or over-share are a curse of today's dining scene.

There should be no need to pre-arrange with the management not to be subject to trivial interruptions at inappropriate times.

It also sounded like part of the problem was that it was three different employees interrupting them. If it had been one server, s/he might well have been able to gauge the situation well enough with one stop by the table. In fact, s/he probably did, since s/he only interrupted once. Apparently multiple people were responsible for the table, which amplified the problem. I've had restaurant experiences where I wasn't sure which person was actually my server. This strikes me as a management issue. It's good if someone else is willing to get you another fork when you need one and can't find your server, but annoying to have multiple people coming to your table to ask if you need anything.

[Ericandblueboy]

Bitching about interruptions by waiters continued this week.

I'm trying to understand what people are so pissed about. A waiter comes by, asks: how's everything going, you respond: very well, thank you. That takes a couple of seconds. You go back to your conversation. Even the stock market doesn't drop 600 points in 2 seconds.

small plates v. entrees

is it in bad form to only order small plates at restaurants like Rasika and America Eats (where there are entrees on the menu)? I have done so in both places in recent weeks, and enjoyed the meals tremendously but wonder if this is an annoyance to the wait staff/cooking staff and if I should tip extra or make a point of thanking them? At AE we had to ask for individual plates so we could share--at Rasika they do that automatically. Both places were nice enough about it (and the food was great) but I wonder if this is something that goes against some sort of etiquette/rule?

A.Tom Sietsema :

As long as you're ordering food, I don't think it matters. As I've mentioned before, both here and in reviews, appetizers frequently trump main courses in the taste department.

Is the OP asking the restaurant to split each small plate into 2 portions? I've never asked for a split plate (ate everything family style growing up), what say you good people?

[goldenticket]

Is the OP asking the restaurant to split each small plate into 2 portions? I've never asked for a split plate (ate everything family style growing up), what say you good people?

I read this as a request for side plates, so that the item could be shared rather than eaten from one dish in the middle of the table.

[Ericandblueboy]

No, I dont want to wait in your lounge.

Had a strange experience for brunch at Blue Duck Tavern recently and I'm curious if it reflects any of your recent experiences with the service there. We had a reservation at 11:45am, and showed up 3 minutes early at 11:42am. Despite the restaurant being half empty, we were asked to take a seat in the lounge. We declined the lounge and said we'd just wait by the hostess stand since it would only be a couple minutes. The hostess was clearly annoyed, and just stared at us before asking us again to wait in the lounge, which we declined again. Then she informed us that another couple with an 11:45 reservation was already waiting in the lounge and she would be seating them ahead of us, so really, we should just take a seat in the lounge. I couldn't tell if they were pushing us to order a drink at the bar before sitting down for our meal, or if she didn't want to look at us, or what. I asked her why she was making us wait and she said their policy is to only seat people at *exactly* their reservation time because they didn't want overwhelm the waiters (did I mention the restaurant was half empty?). So after another two minutes, we stood there patiently while she seated the couple in front of us and then watched as she sat another group that walked in after us. We didn't end up getting seated until about 5 minutes after our reservation time. The waiting wasn't a big deal, but the whole thing really annoyed us and put a damper on the meal. I used to work as a hostess and waitress so I know how the system works, and I would have expected them to ask us to wait if we showed up 30 minutes early....but for 3 minutes? I was really disappointed to have such an interaction at a place like Blue Duck, and it's turned me off from wanting to go back.

A.Tom Sietsema :

I appreciate the need for rules, but it sounds as if Blue Duck Tavern needs to take a chill pill and seat people in a sensible fashion. (I'm not a big fan of hanging in lounges either, especially when I'm on time and my entire party is present.)

I think Tom has it all wrong. It's the diners that should take a chill pill and relax instead of getting all huffy over a simple request that doesn't cost them anything to comply.

Help me be the "cool" aunt?

Hi, Tom, I used to live in the DC area, but since I moved away some years ago I've come to rely on your restaurant reviews when I'm back in town visiting with family. Now I'm hoping you can help with a pretty specific question. I'm thinking of taking my 12-year-old niece out for a "fancy" dinner for her birthday. I'd like the dinner to feel like a special occasion - somewhere we'll dress up nicely for, an evening to make her feel grown up, sophisticated. She's not a picky eater, but she's also not used to very exotic food. While I'd like the food to be good, I'm really looking for the classic "fine restaurant" atmosphere. And I'm hoping for somewhere in Northern Virginia, if at all possible. Thoughts? Thank you!

Be the cool Aunt

I'm 36 y.o. and I certainly don't care about the silly trips my "cool" Aunt took me on to restaurants that amaze children. What I do remember is the food she cooked herself and the things that made her HER. Be yourself. That's the coolest thing you can do. Your niece will respect you for it in 20 years.

Sounds like something I would say if someone pissed in my cereal.

[ktmoomau]

Sounds like something I would say if someone pissed in my cereal.

I actually DO remember the fine dining experiences with my parents more than the home cooked meals... we had some awesome stuff. Will never forget the bananas foster at Commander's Palace. I was a tiny little kid and thought it was just amazing when they lit my food on fire. My Aunt took us to the Greenbrier and we ate in the formal dining room. I was a fine dining fiend from a young age.

[Go for Gin]

I actually DO remember the fine dining experiences with my parents more than the home cooked meals... we had some awesome stuff. Will never forget the bananas foster at Commander's Palace. I was a tiny little kid and thought it was just amazing when they lit my food on fire. My Aunt took us to the Greenbrier and we ate in the formal dining room. I was a fine dining fiend from a young age.

Since this is a special occasion I would have recommended the fine dining experience. Home cooked meals are great for every now & then and the niece would have the experience of both. Personally, I remember the home cooked meals more since going out wasn’t much of an option for a family of nine people. Birthdays were always made to be a special occasion however, and we really didn’t need to invite friends since there was already a crowd!

[SeanMike]

Since this is a special occasion I would have recommended the fine dining experience. Home cooked meals are great for every now & then and the niece would have the experience of both. Personally, I remember the home cooked meals more since going out wasn’t much of an option for a family of nine people. Birthdays were always made to be a special occasion however, and we really didn’t need to invite friends since there was already a crowd!

When I was a kid it was the ultimate in swank when we got a birthday at McDonald's.

I kind of miss those days sometimes...

[Waitman]

As the father of a former 12-year-old, I absolutely endorse the idea of dining in a swank but only semi-adventurous place with a charming younger relative. That's how they learn, and, really, the point is to bond. not to educate (though there is a bit of that). E&B's comment was spot on.