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Rosa Mexicano Sucks Ventworm Nut - Martian Pig Slop From Hell


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Rosa Mexicano Sucks Ventworm Nut
Martian Pig Slop From Hell

On the menu at Rosa Mexicano, there are two items listed by themselves on the top, clearly intended as grabbers: the pomegranate margarita, and the guacamole.

The pomegranate margarita is dispensed soft-serve style out of the wall behind the bar. Almost magically, it seems to keep flowing and flowing, seemingly at the rate of ten gallons per second.

Question: where do you think it comes from?

Do you think the conscientious Tequila-master is sitting there behind the wall, thoughtfully mixing crystal shot glasses full of Patron Anejo into the swirling machine?

Think the pomegranate juice is from the farmers market?

At least Fat Tuesday's has more than one flavor.

The guacamole is fabulous, wonderful and a bargain at ten dollars. It's a cleverly crafted strategy, having this as the signature dish. Are you going to go to Rosa Mexicano, next to the MCI Center with $15 valet parking, and order a guacamole with a glass of ice water? If you do, your food will be a terrific value. If you don't?

Washington DC is the third outlet for this chain restaurant. Atlanta, Georgia is soon to be the fourth. Any guesses for number five? Six? Seven? Get the picture?

Let's call a spade a spade: this factory serves processed-tasting food intended for the masses who naively think they're getting something more meaningful than they would at Cheesecake Factory. Even the tortilla chips taste like they came from the bulk food section at Shoppers Food Warehouse (as opposed to Rio Grande and Cactus Cantina, two high-volume operations that get the chips right).

Rosa Mexicano sucks. It sucks! How much does it suck? It sucks, that's how much it sucks. It sucks ducks, bucks, monster trucks, hockey pucks, guys named Chuck, migrant workers that shuck, lightning bolts that struck, sewage workers wallowing in muck, rear-wheel drive cars that are stuck, vagrants who are down on their luck, babys who taste spinach for the first time and say yuck, and don't think for a moment I've forgotten about the word fuck. There!

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We will be at Rosa Mexicano on Sunday after our Shakespeare Theatre performance. We go to the theater with friends, and once again they suggested that we go to "that place with the great guacamole!" I fear it will be a liquid supper for me, if I can manage not to spill my overfilled margarita on myself. :lol:

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I ate at Rosa Mexicano about a year ago and went to one of their cooking classes with lunch and both times had excellent food. It's been awhile since the dinner, but I had I think the short ribs, my guest had fish, details are forgotten, but the food was not the kind of crap you get at Ruby Tuesdays or Cheesecake factory, it was REAL food (made by a chef)! The Pomegranate Margarita is great (guess they got the formula right?) and the Guac is made to order and they don't shy away from spices...I think that's the key difference between Rosa and especially the Mexican chains like Rio Grande and Chi Chi's - Rosa does NOT shy away from hot/spicy food, they are somewhat authentic.

The cooking class was a chili pepper class by the way, and it was excellent as well, I lost the recipes/menu, but Roberto Santibaí±ez the culinary director from NYC showed up and he really was a serious "foodie" and he talked extensively about how to use chiles, how to cook them, seed them, etc..

So as far as chains go, I put Rosa up there with Olives, and although I'm too anti-chain, sometimes they get it right!

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Todd doesn't think much of the guacamole??

I'm horrified. :lol:

11:43 AM Alexandria, VA: About the Penn Quarter question - Definitely fun and atmospheric. All though not looking for a place that only serves tapas.

Todd Kliman: Rosa Mexicano is a nightly party. Great design, lively crowd -- it's a legitimate scene.

You ought to have a good time if you go -- so long as you don't take anyone who's inclined to scrutinize the food and the service too closely.

And so long as you don't fret over the obvious hard-sell when you first sit down. They want you, expect you -- nay, practically demand you -- to order a swirlie, slushie pomegranate margarita (pumped out from a machine that resembles what you see at 7-11). Ditto with the guac prepared tableside. It's good but it lacks any real brightness and kick.

That's already twenty-some bucks for two. And you haven't even ordered.

The rest of the menu has some moments -- the cooking varies from dish to dish.

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I am going to Rosa Mexicano with friends on Friday night for dinner and drinks. I have tried the pomegranate margaritas on at least three occasions and have been consistently underwhelmed. That ends Friday I hope. Can anyone recommend any other specialty drinks at Rosa? Are their regular margaritas any good?

And while we're talking about margaritas, someone tell me where to find the best ones in town, please!

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I am going to Rosa Mexicano with friends on Friday night for dinner and drinks.  I have tried the pomegranate margaritas on at least three occasions and have been consistently underwhelmed.  That ends Friday I hope.  Can anyone recommend any other specialty drinks at Rosa?  Are their regular margaritas any good? 

And while we're talking about margaritas, someone tell me where to find the best ones in town, please!

I totally agree that Rosa's margaritas are underwhelming, but A for effort.

I remember enjoying (way too many) frozen margaritas at Lauriol Plaza...my judgement might have been impaired though

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Ventworm Nuts! Yes I remember this was the first time I publicly disagreed with Don Rockwell! <_< Sure it isn't the greatest Mexican restaurant in the world, but IT STILL DOESN"T SUCK VENTWORM NUTS!

Honestly, it is decent for a chain,which is what it is. If you go with more expectations than that, you will be dissapointed.

Suggestion for Mexican? Blue Agave in Baltimore....Tex-Mex? Rio Grande

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For a drink, I like la paloma: blanco tequila, squirt (grapefruit soda), and a squeeze of lime on ice in a salt-rimmed glass. I believe Rosa Mexicano will make one. A little girly, but no less delicious. It was originally suggested to me at Blue Agave in Bmore.

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This is a little off topic, but...

I just want to say that I love this thread and always will. It represents the true DonRocks that many of us know and love. Childlike, yet Herculean. Simple, yet brilliant. The ventworm has become a symbol of Don as a playful entertainer, not just as a good writer or an experienced diner. Not as some distant professional or some sweaty wine advocate. Nope, just crazy fun with Rocks.

The orginal post way long ago, see:

Jan. 24, 2004.

God. Time flies like martian pigs (from hell).

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This is a little off topic, but...

I just want to say that I love this thread and always will.  It represents the true DonRocks that many of us know and love. Childlike, yet Herculean. Simple, yet brilliant. The ventworm has become a symbol of Don as a playful entertainer, not just as a good writer or an experienced diner. Not as some distant professional or some sweaty wine advocate. Nope, just crazy fun with Rocks.

The orginal post way long ago, see:

Jan. 24, 2004.

  God. Time flies like martian pigs (from hell).

amen to that sister.....

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For a drink, I like la paloma: blanco tequila, squirt (grapefruit soda), and a squeeze of lime on ice in a salt-rimmed glass. I believe Rosa Mexicano will make one. A little girly, but no less delicious. It was originally suggested to me at Blue Agave in Bmore.

Not girly at all. I drink these like it was my job in the summer time, but I had using squirt! Way too sweet for my taste. I just use good fresh either regular grapefruit juice or ruby red grapefruit juice and a splash of fresca for the fiss and then a ton of fresh lime juice.

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I am going to Rosa Mexicano with friends on Friday night for dinner and drinks.  I have tried the pomegranate margaritas on at least three occasions and have been consistently underwhelmed.  That ends Friday I hope.  Can anyone recommend any other specialty drinks at Rosa?  Are their regular margaritas any good? 

And while we're talking about margaritas, someone tell me where to find the best ones in town, please!

In recognition of your first post, sunshineE, I extend a warm welcome. Keep posting!

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In recognition of your first post, sunshineE, I extend a warm welcome.  Keep posting!

Ditto with the welcome and now you know why nobody has anything good to say about this place. In the "Day Late and Dollar Short" category--if you need some strategies to steer your friends away from there to someplace better, you've come to the right place. We've ALL been in your shoes. :)
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Is there tasty, authentic mexican cuisine in the greater metro area? What about tex-mex? What about in northwest DC? I've been to lots of mediocre places, and read about lots of mediocre places here, some of which even suck ventworm nut... Suggestions?

Alex

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Is there tasty, authentic mexican cuisine in the greater metro area? What about tex-mex? What about in northwest DC? I've been to lots of mediocre places, and read about lots of mediocre places here, some of which even suck ventworm nut... Suggestions?

Alex

For Mex, it seems you need to wander on over to the Taqueria Distrito Federal thread.

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Is there tasty, authentic mexican cuisine in the greater metro area? What about tex-mex? What about in northwest DC? I've been to lots of mediocre places, and read about lots of mediocre places here, some of which even suck ventworm nut... Suggestions?

Alex

No. All Tex-Mex restaurants in DC suck-diddly-uck. Not sure about traditional Mexican.

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Oh dear. You are aware that a very famous restaurant critic once used the phrase "Martian pig-slop from hell" in his review of RM, aren't you?

I am indeed. But I was outvoted 3-1, so suffer I must. Luckily (?) I'm on somewhat of a diet this week, so I may just stick to a simple salad. Can't be that bad can it? :)

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I am indeed. But I was outvoted 3-1, so suffer I must. Luckily (?) I'm on somewhat of a diet this week, so I may just stick to a simple salad. Can't be that bad can it? :)

NewFoodie - whenever I am outvoted and must go to Rosa Mexicano, my order is simple. Stick with the guacamole. Even though the table gets one, eat that, and then when they order entrees, you order another bowl of guacamole for yourself. I actually do think the guacamole is really good, not to mention the only thing there worth eating. Though a friend once ordered the seared tuna salad, and it *looked* promising. Gluck!

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For all those interested, I did survive my meal last nite wink.gif

We actually did not get the guac for the table. I think the waiter was shocked! My dining companions tried the pom margarita and though it ok, but not for the price. I believe my friends ordered the three entrees below:

Enchiladas de Mole Poblano
Chicken-filled soft tortillas topped with mole sauce, sliced onions and crumbled cheese.

Enchiladas Suizas
Two soft corn tortillas filled with chicken and covered in a creamy tomatillo sauce.

Budin Azteca
Layered tortilla pie with shredded chicken, chihuahua cheese, and chile poblano sauce.

The consensus was that the tortilla pie was the best and that the mole was just so-so. As I said before, I am on a diet this week, so I didn't try any of them and instead stuck with the Ensalada de la Casa
(Mixed field greens, shredded jicama, carrots, and cherry tomatoes dressed with a pomegranate vinaigrette). Hard to mess up a simple salad too much, and it wasn't bad. The dressing actually had a nice kick to it!

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I actually had a very nice late lunch in the bar here yesterday. I'm glad I hadn't read the previous postings or I would have steered clear.

The guacamole was quite good if a bit expensive and the tostadas and salsa were fresh and hot. The tortilla soup was non-traditional, but the broth was rich and well spiced. The carne asada was cooked to a perfect medium-rare and the corn tortillas had been made recently. I finished with a very smooth and flavorful coconut flan and a good cup of coffee. Maybe I didn't order right but I really enjoyed my lunch and would go back again.

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Scott and I stopped in for a drink and snack yesterday after the Shakespeare Theatre, and we are happy to report that ventworm nut is still on the menu. "Medium spicy" guacamole was bland, and had it been made in front of us, we would have asked to leave out the watery underripe tomatoes. Margaritas were nothing special, and the chicken quesadilla could have been from Rio Grande, or Cactus Cantina, or any chain Mex or Tex-mex place in town.

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Going to see Cirque du Soleil at the National Harbor this Saturday afternoon. Unfortunately, due to the lack of interesting restaurants, we're slated to suck some ventworm nuts. Will report back on the texture of them nuts.

Rosa does suck outside of the guac. Native Californian here, who actually thinks Austin Grill is way better except for the guac. Rosa is a factory pure and simple, and now comes the rumor that the chef has ordered them to use less avocado in the their guac. By the way the deal for Chevy Chase location is dead.

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After the Cirque show ended, around 6:30, we hopped the free shuttle from the "plateau" to National Harbor. We arrived at Rosa a little before 7 to be told that reservations were running 30 minutes late. After being told that our dinner would be comped, we stayed and went to the bar. The bar was packed, there wasn't any way to get to the bar. After 10 minutes of that, even the thought of free dinner couldn't keep us there. On our way out, a table became available so we were seated. Our waitress assumed we were going to have the guac (and she was right) and she was also took our drink order, which included a pom magarita for my wife. The guac kept us happy for the time being but 30 minutes after its delivery, we were still waiting for put in our order, which consisted of three tacos (1 chicken, 1 pork, 1 beef), 2 crab enchiladas, and a duck layered between tortillas (zarape de pato). In mid-meal, my wife asked our waitress to recommend a drink and she naturally recommended La Suprema, at $16. After reading this thread, we expected the food to be inedible but it was in fact fairly tasty. The prices were ridiculously high though. The menu at Nat'l Harbor also wasn't the same as the downtown location. The goat tacos were not available at Nat'l Harbor.

After the meal, we waited for the free shuttle but after 10 minutes we hailed a cab. When we arrived back at the "plateau," the cab driver said the charge is $4 per person. Hmm.....if he ran the meter, it probably would've been $4 for the ride. My wife threw $6 at him and we got out of the cab. The free shuttle was supposed to run from 1hr before the show to 1 hr after the show. There were two shows on Sat, at 4 and 8. I have no idea why we couldn't find a shuttle around 8:30.

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The free shuttle was supposed to run from 1hr before the show to 1 hr after the show. There were two shows on Sat, at 4 and 8. I have no idea why we couldn't find a shuttle around 8:30.

I think you're reading this as "shuttles available from 3p to 9p". You could also interpret it as "3p to 4p (before the first show), 6:30p-8p (after the first, before the second), and 10:30p-11:30p (after the second)"

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We went to Rosa Mexicana last Friday. We walked in without a reservation at about 6:30 and were seated immediately. "Have you eaten with us before? ask the waiter. "Why yes", I lied in a failed attempt to thwart what I assumed would be a tutorial of some kind, or an upsell. It was the latter. After my foiled attempt to skip the salutory upsell, I was given the guacamole shpeel..."made fresh tableside"..."lime juice"..."mortar and pestle"..yadayada, I heard through my self-induced trance and perma-smile with intermittant nodding.

I told the waiter that I'd wait until my husband came back from feeding the meter (and for God's sake, let me just ask why, oh why do you put coin-operated-$2 an hour machines on the streets that do not take credit cards? Isn't this place brand spanking new? The face on the bartender when Mr. MV asked for quarters was like "If only I had a quarter for every time someone asked for for quarters, I'd blow this fucking pop stand) and in the meantime, I saw on the menu that it was $12. Ah, no.

We shared the duck appetizer which was good, but overpriced at $12 given the portion. Our mains were very good. A 3-pepper (hottest) skillet of steak and shrimp was delicious, and Mr. MV's pork shank was positively Flinstonian. It came with chipotle creamed spinach which was so good that I think I'll try to make it at home. Fresh tortillas, refried beans and rice were served family style.

I'd certainly go back on a nice day to eat on the deck, but the price is a bit of a damper for Mexican*.

$6 for a bottle of Corona is criminal, btw.

*we'll probably go back for lunch with a 25% discount card (good on lunch only for a limited time) that we received in honor of RM's anniversary or something like that.

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It may suck ventworm nut, but it was open when Range was not. (According to their hostess, Range is "still working on their lunch menu" for apparently everyone except their financial backers. Whatevs) Lemonade was fine. Guacamole was fine; I would even go so far as to pronounce it "good" after applying a few dabs of the accompanying tomatillo salsa. Ceviche sampler was also fine. In addition to being fine, our server was competent and graciously brought both sour cream and a glass of milk after one of us accidentally bit into a habanero garnish. I probably won't go back -- mostly because their prices are kind of appalling -- but it was as good a place as any to while away a couple of hours with a friend on a Sunday afternoon.

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Two years ago I visited the National Harbor location with another person. Last year I visited the Gallery Place spot on my own to kill time several hours before a hockey game (my nic rings true!!!). The former was busy so we had to wait at the bar before we were seated, but otherwise things went well and we enjoyed the food. The latter? I probably should have sat at a table instead of the bar because I probably would have received better service; I wasn't drinking anything other than Diet Coke but I'm a great tipper if you treat me well. The National Harbor location isn't bad value-wise given that other places lean more expensive, but if I need to waste time before another hockey game it won't be at the Gallery Place location.

Yes, this is an old review, but I'm a new member :)

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One thing I learned a *long* time ago, as forum host of eGullet, is that (Rosa Mexicano aside (which I pounded out in twenty minutes at 11PM, shitfaced)), there is no Home Run post. Things are cumulative. You write your best effort, spend two hours doing it, and ... silence. And then six months later, something happens because of it.

You know what my favorite thing about that Rosa Mexicano post has been? Aside from the....uh, candor?

The two posts that followed it, by all accounts serious ones. The first wondering if the "good" NY location is different from the local disaster. And the second wondering whether a colleague's CIA trained son made a good career move accepting a job at the RM enchilada station. Maybe those weren't serious? :-)

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This is a little off topic, but...

I just want to say that I love this thread and always will. It represents the true DonRocks that many of us know and love. Childlike, yet Herculean. Simple, yet brilliant. The ventworm has become a symbol of Don as a playful entertainer, not just as a good writer or an experienced diner. Not as some distant professional or some sweaty wine advocate. Nope, just crazy fun with Rocks.

The orginal post way long ago, see:

Jan. 24, 2004.

God. Time flies like martian pigs (from hell).

amen to that sister.....

I never said thank you for these.

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