Etiquette, The Two-Way Street

[Al Dente]

My advice is to start watching Dexter. It premiered on CBS last night after being transferred there from Showtime. It's basically a twist on the superhero story where the hero murders murderers. Just think of how we could all improve the douchebag factor if we took Dexter's ways to heart. I'll provide the chloroform.

[monsterriffs]

Just to play devil's advocate/iconoclast, I think the holier-than-thou attitude being displayed here is almost as bad as the ignorant attitude that was displayed by said Hill staffers. Not everyone is born with highly-developed palates or appreciates the true art of a cocktail, so shouldn't we at least try to englighten them rather than castigating them?

I didn't realize I was reading the culinary version of High Fidelity...

[synaesthesia]

Just to play devil's advocate/iconoclast, I think the holier-than-thou attitude being displayed here is almost as bad as the ignorant attitude that was displayed by said Hill staffers. Not everyone is born with highly-developed palates or appreciates the true art of a cocktail, so shouldn't we at least try to englighten them rather than castigating them?

I didn't realize I was reading the culinary version of High Fidelity...

Exactly. It's a little bit like the bringing your kids to a restaurant idea... I've seen folks be quick to defend their right to bring their kids, so in equal measure those staffers have just as much a right to be "stupid" or rather, uninformed. It's easy to look down upon those who are young or don't know better.

[Al Dente]

Just to play devil's advocate/iconoclast, I think the holier-than-thou attitude being displayed here is almost as bad as the ignorant attitude that was displayed by said Hill staffers. Not everyone is born with highly-developed palates or appreciates the true art of a cocktail, so shouldn't we at least try to englighten them rather than castigating them?

I didn't realize I was reading the culinary version of High Fidelity...

Are you saying they were wrong in that movie?

These customers wanted the mixological equivalent of "I Just Called to Say I Love You" in a place that serves up Sonic Death Monkey and Kathleen Turner Overdrive. Fuck 'em.

[demandalicious]

As exclusive as PX wants to be, folks should expect a certain level of douchebaggery simply based upon the number of times that the spot has received a favorable review in local and national publications. Wasn't it recently mentioned in Playboy (again)? I guess that the bottom line is that you will never be satisfied if you go out expecting others to be on the same wavelength as you. Remember that annoying people are everywhere, and most get even more annoying when they are drunk.

Also, giving someone the gasface in a bar because you don't approve of their behavior is no more classy (or less annoying) than someone acting "out of line" in "your bar" in the first place.

[jpschust]

As exclusive as PX wants to be, folks should expect a certain level of douchebaggery simply based upon the number of times that the spot has received a favorable review in local and national publications. Wasn't it recently mentioned in Playboy (again)? I guess that the bottom line is that you will never be satisfied if you go out expecting others to be on the same wavelength as you. Remember that annoying people are everywhere, and most get even more annoying when they are drunk.

Also, giving someone the gasface in a bar because you don't approve of their behavior is no more classy (or less annoying) than someone acting "out of line" in "your bar" in the first place.

Violet Hour is the same way as PX, what it's turned in to is that I just won't go there on weekends.

[monsterriffs]

Are you saying they were wrong in that movie?

These customers wanted the mixological equivalent of "I Just Called to Say I Love You" in a place that serves up Sonic Death Monkey and Kathleen Turner Overdrive. Fuck 'em.

I write for a small webzine (Pastepunk) and I consider myself pretty snobby about music (e.g. I fucking hate Radiohead). But I've grown weary of mocking others for not being hep to the jive anymore. They'll figure it out if they want to explore more.

The same goes for food and drink. If they're not actively sticking their fingers in your cocktail, I don't see the issue.

[deangold]

I write for a small webzine (Pastepunk) and I consider myself pretty snobby about music (e.g. I fucking hate Radiohead). But I've grown weary of mocking others for not being hep to the jive anymore. They'll figure it out if they want to explore more.

The same goes for food and drink. If they're not actively sticking their fingers in your cocktail, I don't see the issue.

If I'm at the opera at the tenor decides to drop to an f instead of a b-flat am I allowed/encouraged or just a plain asshole if I start talking about it loud enough for my fellow opera lovers to hear it? Or if I was really expecting my opera to be like Rent instead of La Boheme?

No I wait till intermission or afterwards and trash the hell out of the performance where it will not interfere with others' enjoyment. Then I go to DonOperawell.com and post it for all to see (or if I'm Tim Page I write it up in the WaPo).

[plusone]

I write for a small webzine (Pastepunk) and I consider myself pretty snobby about music (e.g. I fucking hate Radiohead). But I've grown weary of mocking others for not being hep to the jive anymore. They'll figure it out if they want to explore more.

The same goes for food and drink. If they're not actively sticking their fingers in your cocktail, I don't see the issue.

Sorry if I was unclear earlier- I'm in no way impuning anybody's right to not like a place. I'm in no way stating that people don't have a right to even indicate while still there that they don't like a place. but there are standards of behavior in public that need to be maintained- making rude comments to a server loud enough so that other patrons can hear them and be uncomfortable is inappropriate. For that, you get a dirty look no matter where you are- PX, Bertucci's, wherever. Sticking your fingers in your cocktail doesn't even bother me, truth be told, so long as I don't have to watch you do it- i can turn away, you can do your thing. I've been to places that didn't work for me, but I think it's important to express that appropriately. That's where the problem is, certianly not with experimentation, or trying something new.

So my husband asks me on the way home I feel about being an elitist snob, and I just know dinner's going to be late. If y'all will excuse me, I have a frozen pizza to microwave!

[monsterriffs]

I want to make it explicitly clear that I never condoned the behaviour of those Southern folks. Being rude is inexcusable. My issue was with how seemingly hostile people on the board are towards those who "don't get it". Maybe it's because I sympathize with folks like that cause I don't really have a very highly developed palate, despite my efforts otherwise.

I usually don't post very regularly, but this line of discussion was distressing to me.

This won't stop me from going to PX at the earliest available opportunity. Also, I won't stick my fingers in your drink.

[Joshua Grinnell]

I would like to state first and foremost that I have a crap palate from a love of whiskey and spicy food. Sometimes a potato chip, even those handcrafted with tender care and a pedigree, is just a handy salt delivery device. There are easily a thousand people on this board and I imagine every one of them could taste and describe that grog better than me.

What I mean by "not getting it" is purely a state of mind. If one doesn't care about why PX, Ray's, ...hell, the dearly departed Dr. Dremo is special, if one is just out for a margarita to take the edge off of all the voter fraud that got you this job but you want to pay $12 for a mixed drink at someplace exclusive and in Playboy, that's the worst kind of snobbery I can imagine and that's saying something given the epic screeds against Rachael Ray I've seen on this board. All that group cared about was getting in and nothing about anything afterwards.

[DonRocks]

I write for a small webzine (Pastepunk) and I consider myself pretty snobby about music (e.g. I fucking hate Radiohead).

What is Radiohead?

[cjsadler]

shouldn't we at least try to englighten them

I was there that evening myself, and noticed that these fellows were labouring under great misapprehentions about the nature of PX and how to behave therein. I endeavored to introduce myself and proceeded to discourse upon the history of the cocktail for their edification, ending with an argument that PX was part of a revival that sought to recapture the lost pleasures of well-made cocktails in a furtive atmosphere. I further mused that barkeeps such as Todd Thrasher must have had some Proustian moment that set them down the revivalist path, occasioned by a well-crafted Sidecar rather than a madeleine. At this point, one of the gentlemen must have found some flaw with my account, as he said something very uncomplimentary and threw his empty grog tankard at me, which struck me in the side of the head. Ah douchebags! Ah humanity!

[ol_ironstomach]

What is Radiohead?

It's post-1940 music that's neither Prokofiev nor Kabelevsky, Don. Nothing for you to worry about

[ulysses]

What is Radiohead?

I might be wrong, no, I can't, you're such a creep, how can you be sure?

[Mark Slater]

If I'm at the opera at the tenor decides to drop to an f instead of a b-flat am I allowed/encouraged or just a plain asshole if I start talking about it loud enough for my fellow opera lovers to hear it? Or if I was really expecting my opera to be like Rent instead of La Boheme?

No I wait till intermission or afterwards and trash the hell out of the performance where it will not interfere with others' enjoyment. Then I go to DonOperawell.com and post it for all to see (or if I'm Tim Page I write it up in the WaPo).

Dean,

You should go here to see the online fistfight of the opera world. I like Monteverdi-Cavalli-Mozart-Donizetti-Verdi-Puccini-Strauss. Who do you like?

The real point that demandelicious obliquely made was that: add a lot of alcohol to the mix and the results are usually predictable.

[Heather]

I write for a small webzine (Pastepunk) and I consider myself pretty snobby about music (e.g. I fucking hate Radiohead).

What I mean by "not getting it" is purely a state of mind. If one doesn't care about why PX, Ray's, ...hell, the dearly departed Dr. Dremo is special, if one is just out for a margarita to take the edge off of all the voter fraud that got you this job but you want to pay $12 for a mixed drink at someplace exclusive and in Playboy, that's the worst kind of snobbery I can imagine and that's saying something given the epic screeds against Rachael Ray I've seen on this board. All that group cared about was getting in and nothing about anything afterwards.

I wonder how many people go there just for those reasons? But if they had read about it in Playboy, shouldn't they know what to expect? (I also wonder about the people eating at Komi, or Citronelle, just because they read about it in a magazine. The two tables of braying thirty-somethings behind us at CityZen on Friday were people exactly like that - it's in "Food & Wine!" it's the hot new place! it's a notch on their belts, nothing more. )

That said, they had a right to be disappointed that PX was not what they were looking for, but not to make everyone else in the place uncomfortable. That's where they crossed the line.

Is it true that there aren't many places to set down a drink? I've been there once to watch the St Patrick's Day parade, but don't recall much about the interior.

[deangold]

Dean,

You should go here to see the online fistfight of the opera world. I like Monteverdi-Cavalli-Mozart-Donizetti-Verdi-Puccini-Strauss. Who do you like?

I am a big Puccini fan, love Wagner, Bellini, Verdi (although a lot of his stuff soounds like a lot of his stuff), Donizetti, Berlioz (the best production I have seen may be Les Troyens at the Met with Levine conducting and just about everyone siniging- Hepner, Voight, Loraine Lieberson Hunt. Started at 6:30 and ended at 12:29 and was too short!). Tales of Hoffman is one of my favorites but no other Offenbach appeals. Strauss of Electra & Salome I love, the operetta Strauss I hate (Die Fledermaus is 2 hours and too long).

I have tried to get into Monteverdi, Mozart for opera and just can't do it. I keep trying. Kay, however, really is sick and tired of going to Mozart operas and sitting next to me as I fidget.

[xcanuck]

What is Radiohead?

Sex toy of the future. Invest NOW.

[demandalicious]

but there are standards of behavior in public that need to be maintained

Really?

Once you leave the comfort of your house, it is no ones responsibility to make you feel comfortable unless you are a guest in their home.

I am not picking on you directly, plusone, as there are others in this community who seem to think that the level of a good time that they have on any given outing is directly related to the number of poseurs who have decided to crash "their party". That is a very unfortunate attitude to have.

[Waitman]

Sorry if I was unclear earlier- I'm in no way impuning anybody's right to not like a place. I'm in no way stating that people don't have a right to even indicate while still there that they don't like a place. but there are standards of behavior in public that need to be maintained- making rude comments to a server loud enough so that other patrons can hear them and be uncomfortable is inappropriate. For that, you get a dirty look no matter where you are- PX, Bertucci's, wherever. Sticking your fingers in your cocktail doesn't even bother me, truth be told, so long as I don't have to watch you do it- i can turn away, you can do your thing. I've been to places that didn't work for me, but I think it's important to express that appropriately. That's where the problem is, certianly not with experimentation, or trying something new.

So my husband asks me on the way home I feel about being an elitist snob, and I just know dinner's going to be late. If y'all will excuse me, I have a frozen pizza to microwave!

Really?

Once you leave the comfort of your house, it is no ones responsibility to make you feel comfortable unless you are a guest in their home.

I am not picking on you directly, plusone, as there are others in this community who seem to think that the level of a good time that they have on any given outing is directly related to the number of poseurs who have decided to crash "their party". That is a very unfortunate attitude to have.

Actually, you're completely wrong here. People do have responsibility to consider the effects of their behavior on others in public. The exact level of consideration can't be scientifically determined, but just like "the best pizza in town," it surely exists.

I know that I can be an douchebag -- oh wait, asshole. Drunk asshole. Whatever. But whether I'm in PX or some loathesome faux dive where the servers wear buttons and the tables have tents, or Citronell or Applebee's I think it's my resposibility to kind of go with the flow. Bitching about a place I entered without a knife at my back for doing what they're supposed to do, and doing so loud enough to annoy others is simply rude. It's a violation of the social contract. (It's in Locke, look it up) It's not a question of snobbery, it's a question of manners, something Georgians are supposed to be good at, and the same rules apply to rubes at PX that apply to sophisto's who get cranky because The Raven doesn't have the right call gin and the bartender fails to put bitters in the martini. Just settle your check and leave.

And where better to bitch about douchebags than here?

[Banco]

Actually, you're completely wrong here. People do have responsibility to consider the effects of their behavior on others in public...

My sentiments exactly.

[demandalicious]

Actually, you're completely wrong here. People do have responsibility to consider the effects of their behavior on others in public. The exact level of consideration can't be scientifically determined, but just like "the best pizza in town," it surely exists.

Consider? Yes. Play by "the rules"? I don't know. Whose rules are people supposed to play by?

[Heather]

Consider? Yes. Play by "the rules"? I don't know. Whose rules are people supposed to play by?

The Golden Rule usually does the trick.

[porcupine]

The "don't be a douchebag" rules. Do unto others, etc.

Wow, it's fun around here today. Here's a peeve/request: when a restaurant has an airlock/vestibule - you know, the space between two doors - don't freakin' hold both doors open at the same time! Maybe you're trying to be nice to a stranger, but you're blasting the diners and their food with the cold. Use the airlock the way it was designed, fer cryin' out loud.

[Walrus]

So the other night, we were just loving a particular item that we'd ordered -- Loooooooooving! So when the table next to us was going over the menus, we leaned over and recommended it. All three of them got it, and they openly enjoyed it (yay!).

Later, as we were leaving, we noticed that the person who, for their main, had ordered a different but equally delectable dish hadn't even tried one of the most fabulous sides...so I when they turned to us to say goodbye, I said "eat the [blank]! It's outstanding!"

Question: Are either of these scenarios rude? Are both welcome to other diners? Or one of each?

We've always enjoyed getting feedback on the menu from other diners -- mostly at the bar at Eve (boy -- an opinionated lot! ) and at the Inn at Little Washington, so I haven't been shy about sharing with others, but I would hate to overstep my bounds and impinge on another person's dining space. For what it's worth, in the above situation, there were three people -- a couple and a friend -- at least one of whom seemed to be really into the food (as in, trying the others' plates and ogling their leftovers ).

[DonRocks]

So the other night, we were just loving a particular item that we'd ordered -- Loooooooooving! So when the table next to us was going over the menus, we leaned over and recommended it. All three of them got it, and they openly enjoyed it (yay!).

Later, as we were leaving, we noticed that the person who, for their main, had ordered a different but equally delectable dish hadn't even tried one of the most fabulous sides...so I when they turned to us to say goodbye, I said "eat the [blank]! It's outstanding!"

Question: Are either of these scenarios rude? Are both welcome to other diners? Or one of each?

We've always enjoyed getting feedback on the menu from other diners -- mostly at the bar at Eve (boy -- an opinionated lot! ) and at the Inn at Little Washington, so I haven't been shy about sharing with others, but I would hate to overstep my bounds and impinge on another person's dining space. For what it's worth, in the above situation, there were three people -- a couple and a friend -- at least one of whom seemed to be really into the food (as in, trying the others' plates and ogling their leftovers ).

At Mendocino Grille the other night, I recommended the Heirloom Tomato Salad to someone sitting next to me at the bar, and when she got it, she started moaning and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Who needs sexual prowess when you have Barry Koslow and Joey Alvarez?

NB Mark Kuller drives a Porsche.

[Banco]

Anything's fine as long as you don't assume a wide stance and wave your hand under the table.

[Al Dente]

At Mendocino Grille the other night, I recommended the Heirloom Tomato Salad to someone sitting next to me at the bar, and when she got it, she started moaning and her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

So did you get lucky or what?!?!?!

[Walrus]

So did you get lucky or what?!?!?!

Sounds to me more like she did...

[squidsdc]

So the other night, we were just loving a particular item that we'd ordered -- Loooooooooving! So when the table next to us was going over the menus, we leaned over and recommended it. All three of them got it, and they openly enjoyed it (yay!).

Later, as we were leaving, we noticed that the person who, for their main, had ordered a different but equally delectable dish hadn't even tried one of the most fabulous sides...so I when they turned to us to say goodbye, I said "eat the [blank]! It's outstanding!"

Question: Are either of these scenarios rude? Are both welcome to other diners? Or one of each?

We've always enjoyed getting feedback on the menu from other diners -- mostly at the bar at Eve (boy -- an opinionated lot! ) and at the Inn at Little Washington, so I haven't been shy about sharing with others, but I would hate to overstep my bounds and impinge on another person's dining space. For what it's worth, in the above situation, there were three people -- a couple and a friend -- at least one of whom seemed to be really into the food (as in, trying the others' plates and ogling their leftovers ).

I think you probably gauge the situation and wouldn't speak up if you felt resistance. That being said, I think the first part is definitely Ok, the second part, in my opionion, not so much. The second part could be taken as a bit pushy or insensitive. The person may very well want to try the [blank] but can't because of ________, i.e. food allergies, food preferences, religion, etc.

(you did ask for opinions...)

[Tweaked]

most fabulous sides...

Last time someone tried to convince me to try a fabulous side, it was a waitress at a Bonefish Grill in Myrtle Beach. There was no moaning or eye rolling.

[Walrus]

I think you probably gauge the situation and wouldn't speak up if you felt resistance. That being said, I think the first part is definitely Ok, the second part, in my opionion, not so much. The second part could be taken as a bit pushy or insensitive. The person may very well want to try the [blank] but can't because of ________, i.e. food allergies, food preferences, religion, etc.

(you did ask for opinions...)

I did ask for -- and welcome -- opinions! I did feel a little awkward _after_ I had encouraged them to try the item. I think part of my motivation was that a number of women in a woman-only group at a larger table had ordered the same main, and they left the (fried) side behind, and I kind of felt like people were avoiding the item (ok, I'm tired of "the item" -- it was onion rings) because it was fried and because onion rings aren't as popular as, say, fries, because they are not often done well. In this case, however, they were spectacular!

NB: The onion ring "side" was included on the place with the main dish -- it wasn't extra or in a separate dish but was clearly a part of the meal as a whole

[squidsdc]

I did ask for -- and welcome -- opinions! I did feel a little awkward _after_ I had encouraged them to try the item. I think part of my motivation was that a number of women in a woman-only group at a larger table had ordered the same main, and they left the (fried) side behind, and I kind of felt like people were avoiding the item (ok, I'm tired of "the item" -- it was onion rings) because it was fried and because onion rings aren't as popular as, say, fries, because they are not often done well. In this case, however, they were spectacular!

NB: The onion ring "side" was included on the place with the main dish -- it wasn't extra or in a separate dish but was clearly a part of the meal as a whole

"I kind of felt like people were avoiding the item (ok, I'm tired of "the item" -- it was onion rings) because it was fried and because onion rings aren't as popular as, say, fries, because they are not often done well."

I believe you that they were spectacular, but this is the sentiment that I was trying to address. Many people try to control their cholesterol with diet alone; some may have had history of heart disease, some may have allergies...the list can go on and on. Saying that one is not eating something just because it is "fried" suggests that people avoid fried foods for reasons that are not substantive; or assuming that onion rings fall in a second class category to a french fry is just that...assuming. (And we all no what happens when one assumes!) Just trying to open up your thinking a bit to see that things aren't always what they appear to be.

[Waitman]

"I kind of felt like people were avoiding the item (ok, I'm tired of "the item" -- it was onion rings) because it was fried and because onion rings aren't as popular as, say, fries, because they are not often done well."

I believe you that they were spectacular, but this is the sentiment that I was trying to address. Many people try to control their cholesterol with diet alone; some may have had history of heart disease, some may have allergies...the list can go on and on. Saying that one is not eating something just because it is "fried" suggests that people avoid fried foods for reasons that are not substantive; or assuming that onion rings fall in a second class category to a french fry is just that...assuming. (And we all no what happens when one assumes!) Just trying to open up your thinking a bit to see that things aren't always what they appear to be.

I'm not sure that one is able or obligated to go through life assuming that there is some Deeper Reason behind every decision to do or not do something - whether eat onion rings or send junior to a particular pre-school; I am sure that people who do have Deeper Reasons should react calmly if an action (within reason -- not "why don't you have a baby") they prefer not to take is suggested.

That being said, I would find random strangers coming up to my table and suggesting items annoying at roughly the same lever as an unsolicited telemarketer call or the waiter trying to foist expensive bottled water or yesterday's fish on me.

As has been said, "if I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

[squidsdc]

I'm not sure that one is able or obligated to go through life assuming that there is some Deeper Reason behind every decision to do or not do something - whether eat onion rings or send junior to a particular pre-school; I am sure that people who do have Deeper Reasons should react calmly if an action (within reason -- not "why don't you have a baby") they prefer not to take is suggested.

That being said, I would find random strangers coming up to my table and suggesting items annoying at roughly the same lever as an unsolicited telemarketer call or the waiter trying to foist expensive bottled water or yesterday's fish on me.

As has been said, "if I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you."

Agreed--on the obligation issue--I was particularily responding to the fact that she wanted to know if suggesting the item was rude. A suggestion once, no, but I was trying to help her understand why the second attempt may not be received well and could be seen as pushy and insensitive. (Based on her response)

[Walrus]

Just to clarify, we were sitting right next to them in a cozy space, I suggested only the app, and I only mentioned that they try the lonely onion rings on their plate when they caught my eye to say goodbye as I was leaving -- it wasn't like I was coming up to their table or stalking them -- plus, they'd eaten a creamy potato product and a plate of red meat, so I was pretty sure that it wasn't a health reason -- just a preference. Sorry if I sound defensive, but I am curious about reactions to what I did, not to what I am presumed to have done It does seem like my instincts were right -- good to recommend a whole dish, bad to encourage partaking in part of a dish (too stalkery!).

[hm212]

I love when someone gives suggestions. Some nights I am looking around the room seeing what others are eating to get an idea.

Like anything else in life some people just won't get it...Others will be very welcoming.

[hillvalley]

Here's something you shouldn't do: If you ask the person sitting two bar stools away from you what they are ordering don't respond with, "Ewww, I would never eat that."

[bookluvingbabe]

Date night for the BLB's.

We chose a nice place we've been before. We tried to place an appetizer order while looking over the menu. We were told we couldn't because it would "confuse" the kitchen to get the appetizer order prior to the entree order.

This was an Empty with a capitol E place this evening.

I spoke with the manager on our way out. He said confused was the wrong word but that was the policy and I could go elsewhere if I didn't like it.

Am I missing something?

I don't often try to order an app before I decide on my entree but it does happen. Is this not cool? In an empty place?

Pondering.

Thanks!

[cheezepowder]

That's surprising to me because oftentimes, the server will ask us if we want to go ahead and order appetizers while we're still looking at the menu.

[brettashley01]

Maybe it was a new employee scared of computer ordering... that's the only explanation i got.

[Waitman]

Date night for the BLB's.

We chose a nice place we've been before. We tried to place an appetizer order while looking over the menu. We were told we couldn't because it would "confuse" the kitchen to get the appetizer order prior to the entree order.

This was an Empty with a capitol E place this evening.

I spoke with the manager on our way out. He said confused was the wrong word but that was the policy and I could go elsewhere if I didn't like it.

Am I missing something?

I don't often try to order an app before I decide on my entree but it does happen. Is this not cool? In an empty place?

Pondering.

Thanks!

So, spill!

I can kind of understand this policy -- the computer entry can be a pain. But any decent restaurant should be willing to make reasonable (and I emphasize "reasonable') accommodations,especially on a slow night. That's there job. And being told by a manager to take a hike is never pleasant. You should let us know where it was.

[hm212]

I spoke with the manager on our way out. He said confused was the wrong word but that was the policy and I could go elsewhere if I didn't like it.

They won't be around long - and I bet the owner would be thrilled with that manager.

[Poivrot Farci]

They won't be around long - and I bet the owner would be thrilled with that manager.

Cynical cheers for someone’s firing based on posts of interpretable accounts of managerial delivery that dining guests are not contracted to eat within an establishment whose protocol they challenge is so 2006. The “confusion” query has little to do with remedial computer skills or service industry snobbery. More than likely the restaurant has a standard policy of placing complete orders so that the kitchen is not confused by multiple orders or ambiguous instructions coming in for the same table number, (regardless of what may appear to be a busy evening or not) whereupon there may be “confusion” as to whether courses or persons were forgotten or added and if the items should be expedited immediately or not. As a bonus for the guest, a complete order allows the kitchen to prepare the next course in a timely manner since lags in service are a common compl-... ah, fuck it....fire 'em. They’d be better off not having to manage the dining public’s silly notions of what is and should be.

[porcupine]

On Bogarting a Barstool, part 2

It happened again, at a very popular restaurant with a great bar menu. Every seat was taken within 3 minutes of opening. Two gentlemen asshats saved two seats on either side, for friends who would be arriving "in ten minutes". The bartender told them that normally they don't allow people to save seats, in a tone of voice that suggested "we'll let you get away with it this time, but don't do it again." [again, not trying to snoop - I was next to them]

The first friend arrived after 45 minutes. I left 15 minutes after that, and the second still hadn't arrived, and the first two guys were nursing glasses of wine, and apparently hadn't ordered yet.

I would have forgotten it right away except that when I turned the corner, I saw at least a dozen people waiting (the bar seats about a dozen), and two more being told "it'll be at least 45 minutes, maybe an hour and a half".

People suck.

I blame the bartender.

Feeling much better now; Don, I don't need the Ferrari link again.

[bookluvingbabe]

What do you do?

You have an issue (on a scale of one to ten, somewhere around a six) while dining. You step away to the host stand and ask to speak with a manager. One isn't available but the host(ess) offers to send one over.

By the time the meal is finished and paid for, a manager still hasn't come by. Host(ess) was not at the front when we departed.

Call the next day? Sulk quietly and not go back? Sigh?

I appreciate the point of bringing issues to the manager's attention in the moment. But my attempt at that didn't quite work.

Pondering

[KMango]

What do you do?

You have an issue (on a scale of one to ten, somewhere around a six) while dining. You step away to the host stand and ask to speak with a manager. One isn't available but the host(ess) offers to send one over.

By the time the meal is finished and paid for, a manager still hasn't come by. Host(ess) was not at the front when we departed.

Call the next day? Sulk quietly and not go back? Sigh?

I appreciate the point of bringing issues to the manager's attention in the moment. But my attempt at that didn't quite work.

Pondering

If it's bugging you enough to continue thinking about it now, additional action makes sense.

Whatever method you find most convenient (for me, would be email, for others, phone and/or astral projection), reach out and provide the feedback on your experience.

However that attempt is handled will tell you whether or not the restaurant is interested in receiving diner feedback.

[goodeats]

What do you do?

If you booked on OpenTable, the feedback will probably be read. I do find the most popular way around here (in DC) seems to be writing into Tom's chat or Kliman's chat and then the restaurant responds faster. I feel like I read one every week.

I am learning that sulking makes it worse sometimes because you end up giving yourself negative energy and not resolving the issue. But sighing, a cup of hot cocoa and then attacking the issue again is a good plan. Go bookluvingbabe, go!

[Dave Pressley]

If you booked on OpenTable, the feedback will probably be read. I do find the most popular way around here (in DC) seems to be writing into Tom's chat or Kliman's chat and then the restaurant responds faster. I feel like I read one every week.

I am learning that sulking makes it worse sometimes because you end up giving yourself negative energy and not resolving the issue. But sighing, a cup of hot cocoa and then attacking the issue again is a good plan. Go bookluvingbabe, go!

Please always contact the restaurant first and let them have a chance to make amends before you post online. If you call or email the restaurant and they still don't respond, post away!!